Yesterday was Memorial Day here in the states. A time to remember those we’ve lost and honor them. I get the purpose but I have to be honest, I don’t really like that “holiday.” Because for me, it brings up so much sadness. It gets me wondering what would have been, could have been and should have been. And when those “woulda, coulda, shoulda” conversations come up – they NEVER lead anywhere productive.

You see my mom died when I was a little girl, so I used to spent a lot of time thinking about how my life would be different if only… But I’ve long ago learned that there’s no use digging into the past and wondering “what if” to something that can not be changed. However, now that I have children of my own, it comes up again. I think about how nice it would have been for them to know their grandma and others they’ve lost before they even had a chance to know them.

My husband and I had this conversation yesterday. I started down that rabbit hole again as we stood in front of my mom’s headstone. Then I stopped myself – I chose to change the conversation from one of “what if’s” and regrets for what could not be changed to one of the present moment and what could be. And that’s what I want to share with you today…

Remember this – Live in the present moment! Don’t spend all your energy on what can not be changed from the past or what you can not control of the future. Rather, live and love in the present moment. My comment to my family yesterday was this, “Instead of being sad about who or what we can’t experience, let’s focus on those who are here with us now that we can love and enjoy.” And with that, we got back into the car, left the cemetery and went to visit someone who is near and dear to our heart. We practiced what I’d suggested and it changed the whole course of our day.

I know that losing someone is difficult. And if the loss is new to you then of course grieving is an important part of the healing process. But remember that living in the present is the key to living and loving again. The Memorial holiday is a good time to remember and honor but not to live in regret or woulda, coulda, shoulda’s… Live and love today!