“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Remember when Tina Turner sang, “What’s love got to do with it…“? That’s the question I’ll be exploring in today’s article. What does love have to do with the ability to make changes in your life and create a life you desire? Well, I’ll tell you…
First of all, if the desire to make changes isn’t in your heart, then the ability to make change will not have the fire and drive it needs to stay the course. That’s why I often talk about the “Why” of what it is you want to do. If your “why” for wanting to make change isn’t strong enough (or have a strong enough emotional connection/charge) then the likelihood that you’ll continue when things get a little tough is low. Your “why” is your motivation, it’s your reason, it’s what’s really important to you. And the emotional component that it brings is so powerful, that without it, there is little chance that you’ll truly succeed. There needs to be passion and love to fuel your desire to change.
If there isn’t, then the fire will soon go out… So think about your reason for wanting to make changes. If you’re trying to lose weight, and you say “I have to lose weight. I have to start exercising, I need to eat better.” How excited are you going to feel? But what if you really considered your “why”? Your reason for wanting to lose weight… Let’s say it’s that you want to be able to enjoy your life. Live a long time so you can see your children grow up. Run a marathon for a cause that is close to your heart. Now those reasons will excite you. Those reasons will shift your thinking from “I have to…” To “I want to…” And that is such a powerful shift. As I said before, without it, the likelihood that you’ll continue is low.
I also want to mention that your love for others isn’t the only thing that can affect your success when it comes to making change in your life. The love of self is something that most people don’t like to talk about. Somewhere along the way, we’ve created this notion that if we even admit that we love ourselves that we are being conceded. Or that we’re selfish when we do something to show our love for ourselves. Like taking a spa day to relax and reduce stress. Or spending money to hire a coach. Or pursuing our dreams. But that’s not true…self love is an essential component to true success and self care is not selfish. It too is an essential component to true success. And I say “true success” because many people appear to be successful but inside they are miserable. Maybe they are able to climb the corporate ladder, have big bank accounts, rockin’ bodies, and beautiful homes, etc. But often you see that they are on a quest for more, more, more because they feel so unhappy and unsatisfied with what they have. They are trying to fill a void. The void of love for themselves… True success has nothing to do with your bank account, your figure, or anything else if you are not satisfied from within first. So loving yourself and believing that you deserve to have it all, is the only way that you can feel true success. And even then, that true success can only be defined by you. We must each define what success means for ourselves. If not, then we are never satisfied. And guess what, if you don’t love yourself…you never will be satisfied.
Not only that, but it is in loving yourself, and loving yourself unconditionally that you find the strength to risk, to fail, to push on and to be gentle with yourself through the process. It is the power of the heart that motivates us to stick with our goals and actually create change in our lives.
So I tell you this, What’s love got to do with it? EVERYTHING!
My challenge for you this month… Think about what you really love – what’s important to you? What’s your deep “why” for the changes you are wanting to make this year? Get very clear on them and write them down so that every time you get tired of working at your change, you will be reminded of why you are doing it.
And my other challenge is to look for ways to love yourself. What do you love about who you are? (Focus on those things.) What can you do to express love to yourself? (Do it!) Remember, self love is essential to true success and happiness. And self care is not selfish.