Gratitude Letters and Gratitude Visits

“Let us be thankful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” ~Marcel Proust

If you live in the US, odds are you’re preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday tomorrow. Which can mean many different things for people. For some it’s no more than an excuse to eat and drink too much. Or a much-needed day off from work. But for most people, it’s a day to get together with family and friends to remember what we are most thankful for. And if you’re lucky, the two go together… the people you’re with are in fact what you are most thankful for. So, as we prepare for this day of thanksgiving… why not use this as a time for reflection and sharing with those we truly are grateful for.

Going back to the research I’ve been sharing with you over the last couple of weeks from Robert Emmons, who wrote the book Gratitude Works! I want to share another idea for how you can practice gratitude in a powerful way and in fact, share the gift of gratitude. (More on gifts of gratitude next week) but for now, I want to encourage you to embrace the idea of writing a gratitude letter…

A gratitude letter is an incredibly powerful way to boost gratitude and as a result, our overall well-being. Plus, writing a gratitude letter is a beautiful way to express love and appreciation to someone. So, here’s how it works:

1. Select someone in your life (past or present) who has made a positive difference in your life, yet you’ve never fully conveyed your gratitude to them. 
2. Write a letter to them expressing and specifically identifying why you are grateful for them.
3. Deliver the letter to them. (Face to face if possible. Especially if you will be seeing them for the holidays.) But let the purpose for your visit with them be a surprise. Don’t let them know why you’re visiting, just show up with the letter as a gift to them. (You can even go the extra mile and have it framed or laminated. But that isn’t completely necessary.)
4. During your visit, read the letter to them with full expression, loving energy and an openness of posture. Let it sink in as you read it slowly. Then wait for their reaction and reminisce together about the love, wisdom, experiences, etc. that make this person so important to you.

The evidence that “Gratitude Visits” make a lasting difference on people comes from another researcher named Martin Seligman who’s a leading authority in the field of positive psychology. So, what were the effects of writing a gratitude letter and delivering the letter via a gratitude visit? Well, based on the study that was done, participants showed a significant shift in their moods. They were less depressed and had an increase in happiness and were able to maintain the boost in happiness and decrease in depression up to a month later.

That’s powerful! And as it turns out, that exercise of doing a gratitude visit made people less depressed and happier for a longer lasting period of time than any other positive psychology intervention they tested. Wow, right?!?!

So, what do you say? Feel like starting a new gratitude practice this holiday season? Write a Gratitude Letter and deliver it via a Gratitude Visit then see just how high your happiness and the people you share that gift of gratitude with can soar.

NOTE: Writing and delivering a gratitude letter in person may not be possible for you nor does doing it guarantee an entirely joyful outcome. But even if you don’t feel you can deliver the letter via a visit, write it anyway. Sending it however you can, is still a positive act of kindness and love. Plus, the simple act of writing the letter, even if you don’t deliver it at all, is quite powerful and can be incredibly beneficial to you, your happiness and wellbeing.