Write Your Own Agreements

 “Just imagine becoming the way you used to be as a very young child, before you understood the meaning of any word, before opinions took over your mind. The real you is loving, joyful, and free.” — Don Miguel Ruiz

Over the last several weeks, we've been exploring the wisdom found in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. We've talked about being impeccable with our word, not taking things personally, avoiding assumptions, and always doing our best.

These four simple principles have helped millions of people create greater freedom, peace, and personal responsibility in their lives. And if you've been following along, my hope is that they've helped you reflect on some of your own thoughts, beliefs, habits, and behaviors as well.

But as we wrap up this series, I want to leave you with a question that I think may be even more important than the agreements themselves:

What agreements are you currently living by?

Most of us don't spend much time thinking about that question.

Yet from the moment we're born, we're constantly learning rules, beliefs, and expectations from the people around us. Some come from our families. Some come from teachers, coaches, friends, culture, religion, or society. Over time, many of those messages become internal agreements that quietly shape how we see ourselves and the world.

Some of those agreements serve us well.

They teach us values like honesty, kindness, responsibility, perseverance, and compassion.

But others can become limiting beliefs that keep us stuck.

Maybe you've carried an agreement that says:

"I'm not good enough."

"I have to be perfect."

"My needs don't matter."

"Success is for other people."

"I can't change."

The challenge is that many of these agreements operate below our level of awareness. We don't even realize they're influencing our decisions, relationships, confidence, and ability to grow.

That's why I spend so much time helping clients identify and rewrite the stories they've been carrying for years. Because once you become aware of an old agreement, you gain something powerful:

Choice.

And once you have choice, you have the opportunity to create change.

You Don't Have to Keep Living by Old Agreements

One of the most liberating realizations in personal growth is understanding that just because you've believed something for a long time doesn't make it true.

And just because an agreement was handed to you doesn't mean you have to keep it.

You have the power to question it.

You have the power to challenge it.

And you have the power to replace it.

Think about your own life for a moment.

Are there beliefs you've been carrying that no longer serve you?

Are there patterns you keep repeating even though you're ready for something different?

Do you ever feel like part of you knows there's a better version of yourself waiting to emerge, but something keeps holding you back?

If so, perhaps it's time to write a new agreement.

Create Agreements That Support the Life You Want

One of the reasons I love The Four Agreements is that they provide a simple framework for creating more freedom. But that doesn't mean they have to be the only agreements you live by.

In fact, I think one of the most empowering things you can do is intentionally create a few guiding principles of your own.

Maybe one of your agreements is:

"I will speak to myself with kindness and compassion."

Or:

"I will focus on progress instead of perfection."

Or:

"I will have the courage to be myself."

Or:

"I will choose growth over fear."

The specific agreement matters less than your commitment to living it.

Start small. Choose one principle that resonates deeply with you and practice it consistently. Let it guide your decisions. Let it influence how you think, act, and show up in the world.

Over time, those new agreements become part of your identity.

And that's when real transformation begins.

A Quick Review of the Four Agreements

If you missed any of the previous posts in this series, you can catch up here:

• A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
• Agreement #1: Be Impeccable with Your Word
• Agreement #2: Don't Take Anything Personally
• Agreement #3: Don't Make Assumptions
• Agreement #4: Always Do Your Best

Each one offers a simple but powerful reminder that freedom is often created through the small choices we make every day.

Your Challenge This Week

Take a few minutes to reflect on the agreements you've been living by.

Which ones have helped you become your best true you?

Which ones have been holding you back?

And most importantly:

What new agreement do you want to make with yourself today?

Write it down.

Put it somewhere you'll see it.

Read it often.

Then begin living it.

Because your future is not created by the agreements you've inherited.

It's created by the agreements you choose moving forward.

And that choice is always yours.

If this series has inspired you, I highly encourage you to read The Four Agreements for yourself. It's a simple book with timeless wisdom that has the power to create meaningful change when applied consistently. Get the book Here. If you don't have time for the full book but would still like to explore the ideas within it further, check out the Philosopher's Notes Here! 

And remember, the goal isn't perfection. The goal is freedom—the freedom to become the best true version of yourself.