Overcoming and Growing through Life's Ups and Downs

“Grow through what you go through.”

Well, spring is here! My family is home for spring break, and we are busy planting, playing, loving and working. In other words, we are enjoying life.

Although the reality is, life can be chaotic and full of hardships, disappointments, and trials. I was thinking about this recently as my youngest daughter is nearing the end of her senior year. Time has flown by, and we are about to embark on a new chapter of our lives. That’s a challenge for me because I know she will be leaving soon. But instead of choosing to stay stuck; rejecting change, and resisting the future, I went through a process that I want to share with you today. I set into motion a series of steps that have pushed me past the bittersweet pain that change often brings and on to making the most of the life I have while I work towards embracing the future that is before me.

In general, it can be easy to get stuck in the trap of putting life off until things are steady, like when you get out of debt, find true love, get the job of your dreams, make it big, etc., etc. But the reality is, if you don’t bloom where you’re planted right now, not only will you miss out on a world of happiness and joy, but you will not be living or welcoming the opportunities that are present and could actually propel you to that future faster and with greater ease.

Something not working out like you’ve planned is not a failure, it’s an opportunity. An opportunity to learn, to grow, to see what is unfolding before you and to take the next risk. It’s a chance to live. And with that thought, here are the seven essential steps to overcoming and growing from disappointment. Take these steps the next time you are faced with disappointment and you’ll feel your life propel forward. 

1. Allow yourself to feel the pain. Allow yourself to grieve, to cry, and to be angry. In short, allow yourself to feel. It’s okay and it’s actually a necessary part of the process. Pretending it doesn’t bother you would not be being true to yourself and would not be healthy. Yes, grieving may seem like a harsh word, but in reality, even though your disappointment may not necessarily be the loss of a loved one, it is a loss. Maybe the loss of a dream, a hope for the future, a job, an opportunity, a friend, a love…whatever. Allow yourself to grieve the loss.
2. Ask for guidance.  In other words, pray or meditate. Whether you call it God, Spirit, the Universe, whatever; ask for guidance from that higher source. If you ask to be shown the way, to be guided to what’s right and best for you, then trust that that is exactly what you will be given, then no matter what comes, you can rest assured that it is the right thing. Even if you don’t see it…it is.
3. Show gratitude. It may sound like the last thing you want to do at a time of loss or disappointment, but showing gratitude for the things you do have will not only take your focus off the things you don’t have, but will renew your spirit faster than any other action you can take. Not to mention, show the world that you’re ready for more to be grateful for.  
4. Ask for help. (This is a hard step for me.) I don’t like to ask for help but I am learning that not asking for help doesn’t mean you’re strong and can handle it all. Actually, it takes a very strong person to ask for help. And to allow others into your life to help. So, ask for help…it’s okay.
5. Refocus by letting go of the attachments to expectations or outcomes that you have created and allow yourself to set new intentions on what is to come. 
6. Create a plan or goals – from those intentions you have set. Then identify the steps you need to take to make that plan come to pass.
7. Take action on those steps and get moving in a positive direction again. Life is a series of choices, and you can choose to focus on the door that has been closed in front of you or you can choose to look for the new door that has been opened and take action to walk through it. 

You may not always know the reason that what you want in life does not come to pass, but you can rest assured that if you trust that it is because something greater is coming your way and use the challenges as an opportunity, to learn what that is, then I’m certain that good will undoubtedly come your way. Time to Grow!

***Check out this link for 5 powerful questions that will help direct your thoughts to benefit you to the fullest!