Masterful Mindsets

“You can’t move on to your next destination if you don’t get unstuck from where you are.”

I was speaking with a fellow coach recently who’d asked me what I’d been up to. I told her we’d gotten our youngest daughter off to college and then filled her in on all the details of what’d been going on in business and how busy we’d been. Then I said, “But I’ve been super tired lately and feeling like I’m stuck on some projects that I just can’t get clarity or motivation on.” With which she proceeded to ask me, “Have you given yourself permission to grieve?”

My initial reaction was, to wonder what she was getting at and what that could possibly have to do with my stuckness. I thought, “I shouldn’t be grieving. I don’t have any reason to grieve.” After all, isn’t grief about death and loss? Sure, maybe not always a loss of life; if you’ve ever heard me speak on “The Death of a Dream” then you know that we can also grieve the loss or letting go of an unfulfilled dream for the future, a los...

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” ~Maya Angelou

By now most schools are back in session and autumn is starting to whisper, “I’m on my way…” So as the smell of sunscreen is being overtaken by the scent of pumpkin spice, so too are our carefree feelings being overtaken by a sense of overwhelming tension.

This year being an election year there is a special weight coming with the changing of the seasons. I don’t think I need to tell you that the weight of all the “heaviness” our world and nation has faced over the last nearly 10 years, it can be a lot for many people to manage on their own.  

Combine all these emotions with the usual feelings that most people face as the last quarter of the year comes tumbling in and it’s no surprise that so many people are feeling a crushing sense of exhaustion, hopelessness, and negativity. I mean, aren’t we supposed to be starting new and fres...

“Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.”  ~John C. Maxwell

Have you seen those quick quizzes on social media? (If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably seen them on my story periodically.) They list a bunch of things and then ask you if you’d choose this or that. It’s usually something fun and cute like “Coffee or Tea”, “Mountains or Beach” – but what if there was a this or that quiz that required you to dig a little deeper for the answers?

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been asking you to choose between Courage or Comfort, Hope or Fear, and Stuck or Striving. How’s that for a this or that quiz? When you really think about the choices you are making in your life, do you like what you are choosing? I get it, it’s not as fun as choosing “Cake or Pie” but its choices like these that can truly transform your life.

So, let me ask you, what choices have you been making lately that are dictating the outcomes of your life? And maybe more importantly, are ...

“Hope and fear cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Invite one to stay.” ~ Maya Angelou

In my last Masterful Mindset, I wrote about choosing courage over comfort. So now, I want to focus on another choice we have. This is the choice between hope and fear. So before you read on, ask yourself, if hope or fear is dictating the path you’re taking to your future? Which one do you want guiding you into the next chapter of your life?

With each passing year, both of my daughters consistently and joyfully embark on new chapters in their lives. (This year, my oldest will be graduating college and my youngest will be leaving for college) at I want for them but at the same time, letting them go… not so easy.

I have such great hope for their futures. And yet, if I’m not careful, I can easily find myself overcome with fear about their futures too. The uncertainty, the risks, the fact that I truly cannot be there to protect them every step of the way nor am I in control of everything...

“Being able to selectively forget about the things in your life that don’t serve you might just be the most freeing feeling in the world.”

I was recently coaching a client through a session on defining her ideal identity and it reminded me of an old show I watched years ago. It was about a woman who had amnesia and was trying to figure out who she really was. As she began to rediscover herself, what she found was that she didn’t really like who she had been. So, she decided that if she was going to have to relearn who she was, she might as well learn to be who she really wanted to be. She chose to redefine herself, create new beliefs and make some changes that of course, lead to her becoming a better, happier and more successful person then she had ever been.    

I still remember thinking, as I sat there watching the show, that in a way she was kind of lucky. Don’t get me wrong, there would be many downfalls to having amnesia, like not knowing any of your friends or family. But woul...

"When life seems hard, the courageous do not lie down and accept defeat; instead, they are all the more determined to struggle for a better future."   ~Queen Elizabeth II 

A lot can be learned about a person's character if you observe them during difficult times. They will show you their victim side or their victor side. They will show you their pessimism or their optimism. Their kindness or their bitterness... And as the quote says, those who are courageous will show that they are strong and courageous, in their actions and determination. While all too often, those who are afraid of difficulty or failure will never take the risk to move forward. 

Now that doesn't mean that those who are strong and courageous never fail. Quite the contrary - what it means is that they aren't afraid of failure because they don't see it as defeat. They see it as an opportunity to learn and try again. And most importantly, they know that their failures do not define them but rather, it's how they sh...

"The journey to joy begins with acceptance." ~ Margaret Feinberg

Ever have one of those days when nothing seems to go right? Kinda makes you cranky, doesn't it? But what if you just accepted it and laughed it off? Could it be possible to find joy even when life seems to be unraveling?

Let’s get one thing straight about this week’s quote, it does not mean that you should settle for whatever or wherever you are in life. But rather, I believe it means that once you face where you are with acceptance of the situation – whether good or bad – you can put your energy into adapting and advancing. In other words, instead of wasting time and energy staying stuck in the problem, you just acknowledge it and then you can begin to shift your focus to the solution and moving forward into a more joyful life.

Let’s face it, life does not always turn out exactly as we’d like. There are plenty of mistakes, disappointments and failures all along the way. The secret to being content is accepting tha...

“Grow through what you go through.”

Well, spring is here! My family is home for spring break, and we are busy planting, playing, loving and working. In other words, we are enjoying life.

Although the reality is, life can be chaotic and full of hardships, disappointments, and trials. I was thinking about this recently as my youngest daughter is nearing the end of her senior year. Time has flown by, and we are about to embark on a new chapter of our lives. That’s a challenge for me because I know she will be leaving soon. But instead of choosing to stay stuck; rejecting change, and resisting the future, I went through a process that I want to share with you today. I set into motion a series of steps that have pushed me past the bittersweet pain that change often brings and on to making the most of the life I have while I work towards embracing the future that is before me.

In general, it can be easy to get stuck in the trap of putting life off until things are steady, like when you...

"Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing you did today was breathe." ~Yumi Sakugawa

The holidays can be emotional for many people, especially if you’re going through a difficult time. We each fight our own unseen battles everyday no matter how big or small, and the holidays can bring about a lot of additional stress which in turn can cause emotions to escalate.

Whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one or struggling through another hardship like a broken relationship, a lack of direction, a failed business, an illness, a family quarrel or even grieving the dreams for your future hopes that did not come to pass this year, I want you to know that’s it’s okay to honor your grief and sadness. But I don’t want you to get stuck in it.

So today, just breathe... as I share some caring tips for coping with grief, depression or other strong negative emotions throughout the holidays this year.

If you are struggling this holiday season for any reason, please read on and feel free to s...

“The energy you radiate has the power to influence everyone you encounter.” - Michelle Weimer

This week’s topic of energy ties in with last month’s series on influence because of the fact that today I want to talk about how your energetic presence affects and influences those you are around.

If you are upbeat and highly energetic both physically and emotionally, people around you can feel that energy. Likewise, if you are putting out negative energy and emotions, the people around you are going to feel that as well. Take that thought in for a minute and think about the energy you’ve been giving off. How do you think it’s affecting those around you?

Now think about this, if you had the power to control the quality of air your family is breathing, would you fill the room with a toxic gas that could ultimately harm them? Of course not! Instead you’d want to pump it full of pure life-giving air. And yet, if you are giving off negative energy all the time, you are letting that energy...