Masterful Mindsets

“I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.” - Mother Teresa

I’ve been a bit nostalgic lately for some reason, revisiting many relics from my childhood. First, telling you about the book, “Love Is” and now, I want to share another memory…

I had a little plastic figurine, that had a sickly-looking person on it with the caption that read, “I love you so much it hurts.” Truth be known, I think it belonged to my big brother or sister and they probably got it from a high school sweetheart, but none the less, for some reason, I really liked that little figurine. It was meant to be funny, whimsical, and cute. (Which it was!) And although I didn’t understand that feeling then, I have to say that in my lifetime, I’ve actually experienced that feeling on many occasions...

With my husband, when I’m away from him. With my girls, when I watch every bittersweet moment of their growth into independent young women. With my father and my be...

“You are enough, you are so enough, it’s unbelievable how enough you are.” ~Sierra Boggess

Last week I shared three common negative thoughts that frequently emerge when someone is pushing outside their comfort zone, facing a challenge, or struggling in some way. But quite honestly, none of them would likely crop up if they weren’t rooted in the mother of all sabotaging beliefs.

What is that belief? Well think about it for a second and then read on…

The mother of all sabotaging beliefs is: “I am not good enough!”

Yep, if you dig deep into your negative thoughts, odds are high you will find most limiting beliefs and fears are rooted in the assumption that in some way, shape or form, you are not good enough to handle whatever it is you are facing.

Don’t believe me? Try this little exercise the next time you find negative thoughts popping up in your head… If you ask the question “why” after your thought, what would be your answer?

Now the initial answer might not sound exactly l...

“The eyes are the windows to your soul.” - William Shakespeare

It has been said that the eyes are the window to your soul. Yet unfortunately, so many people wear masks to hide who they are that no one ever gets to see their true beautiful soul. And sadly, not only does no one else get to know the real them, but they often go through life wondering who they themselves are because they have lost touch with their own selves from spending so much of their lives wearing a mask and pretending to be someone they are not.

Has this ever been you? What mask are you wearing?

You may have begun wearing a mask for protection but who are you really protecting yourself from - the world around you or your own self? Are you trying to hide who you are or how you feel? Maybe you feel like you’re not enough as you are or won’t be accepted as you are. That can be tough, and I understand that sometimes it really does feel safer to put on a mask and pretend to be something you are not. But life was no...

“Always be yourself, unless you can be a ninja, then always be a ninja.” ~unknown

As I was preparing to write this week’s blog post, I was feeling a bit stuck for an idea. So, I did what I sometimes do when stuck, and that is read old articles I’ve written in order to find a subject for inspiration. (I could honestly fill a book with all I’ve written in the last 18+ years of delivering weekly articles/blog posts to you.) In addition to ideas for topics, sometimes it’s just fun to read through them again because many include stories of what was going on in my life at the time. Ummm… yes, I realize this is possibly border lining on procrastination because I’m stuck. But that’s not the point of today’s post. LOL - Instead, what I want to tell you about is a post I wrote clear back in 2009. (And yes, this one involved a personal example.)

See, since it’s October and Halloween is just around the corner, I was thinking about writing something on the topic of fear. But I couldn’t quite ...

“Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.”  ~John C. Maxwell

Have you seen those quick quizzes on social media? (If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably seen them on my story periodically.) They list a bunch of things and then ask you if you’d choose this or that. It’s usually something fun and cute like “Coffee or Tea”, “Mountains or Beach” – but what if there was a this or that quiz that required you to dig a little deeper for the answers?

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been asking you to choose between Courage or Comfort, Hope or Fear, and Stuck or Striving. How’s that for a this or that quiz? When you really think about the choices you are making in your life, do you like what you are choosing? I get it, it’s not as fun as choosing “Cake or Pie” but its choices like these that can truly transform your life.

So, let me ask you, what choices have you been making lately that are dictating the outcomes of your life? And maybe more importantly, are ...

“Hope and fear cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Invite one to stay.” ~ Maya Angelou

In my last Masterful Mindset, I wrote about choosing courage over comfort. So now, I want to focus on another choice we have. This is the choice between hope and fear. So before you read on, ask yourself, if hope or fear is dictating the path you’re taking to your future? Which one do you want guiding you into the next chapter of your life?

With each passing year, both of my daughters consistently and joyfully embark on new chapters in their lives. (This year, my oldest will be graduating college and my youngest will be leaving for college) at I want for them but at the same time, letting them go… not so easy.

I have such great hope for their futures. And yet, if I’m not careful, I can easily find myself overcome with fear about their futures too. The uncertainty, the risks, the fact that I truly cannot be there to protect them every step of the way nor am I in control of everything...

“Comfort is the enemy of progress.” ~ PT Barnum

I was in a yoga class recently and the instructor asked us to ponder the question, “Will you choose courage or comfort today?” She left it open ended… and since it was the beginning of the class, it would be easy to assume she was just talking about our physical effort for the class. But of course, you know me… I took it much farther than that. Because the truth is, you could literally ask that question for every instance, decision or action in your life.

As class continued, my thoughts went inward, and I had an aha moment that led to a shift for me, which reignited my desire and passion for progress. So, I wanted to share it with you, just in case you need a little nudge to push you out of your comfort zone too.   

Now first, let me just say that being comfortable isn’t always a bad thing. We as humans are usually striving for comfort in some way. But it’s when being comfortable gets uncomfortable that we must recognize we are stu...

“Being able to selectively forget about the things in your life that don’t serve you might just be the most freeing feeling in the world.”

I was recently coaching a client through a session on defining her ideal identity and it reminded me of an old show I watched years ago. It was about a woman who had amnesia and was trying to figure out who she really was. As she began to rediscover herself, what she found was that she didn’t really like who she had been. So, she decided that if she was going to have to relearn who she was, she might as well learn to be who she really wanted to be. She chose to redefine herself, create new beliefs and make some changes that of course, lead to her becoming a better, happier and more successful person then she had ever been.    

I still remember thinking, as I sat there watching the show, that in a way she was kind of lucky. Don’t get me wrong, there would be many downfalls to having amnesia, like not knowing any of your friends or family. But woul...

“Do something every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

When was the last time you tried something new for the first time? I posed this question to my Tuff Chicks Group recently because I think it is important to try new things, be open to change, challenge yourself and of course, as the featured quote says, do something that scares you!  

I was speaking with my own coach recently (Yes, coaches have coaches – the process works! So why wouldn’t we?!?!) and was asked to rank how much I feel I challenge myself and to name something I’ve done lately that has pushed me out of my comfort zone. It was kind of interesting because at first I was being really hard on myself and then I began to think of several occasions recently when I’d stepped out of my comfort zone to take a risk, learn something new and challenge myself big time with a huge project. Doing the exercise made me feel really proud, because stepping out of my comfort zone is something that I try to challenge myself to...

“The secret of happiness is freedom... The secret of freedom is courage.” - Thucydides

Independence Day is one of the greatest American holidays, both for what we celebrate and how we celebrate it. I mean, who doesn't love a good barbecue, a festive parade and spectacular fireworks? But as our whole world knows, freedom is not something to be taken for granted. A few years ago COVID quickly taught us that lesson. And yet, I still encounter people who readily give their freedom away by being trapped within the walls of their own beliefs and fears.

What about you? Are you trapped by your own fears and limiting beliefs, or do you feel truly free to live your best life? I know one thing; our forefathers certainly didn't fight for our freedom so that we could be imprisoned by our own limitations. So do you have the courage to set yourself free?

Take some time this week and into the coming holiday weekend to reflect on why we celebrate. There are some in this world who only wish they ...