Masterful Mindsets

“Flourishing goes beyond happiness, or satisfaction with life. True, people who flourish are happy. But that’s not the half of it. Beyond feeling good, they’re also doing good-adding value to the world.” ~ Barbara Fredrickson

As I shared with you last week, each year around my birthday I take time to reflect on my life. And again, this year was no different. I journaled and reflected on those three questions that one of my mentors, Brendon Burchard always asks, "Did I Live? Did I Love? Did I Matter?"

But then, I decided to move from reflection of the past year to asking a few questions of myself in a future focused manner. And this is where I embraced the ideas from another mentor of mine, Brian Johnson.

Brian is the founder and CEO of Heroic Public Benefit Company. And I had an opportunity this fall to spend several days with Brian, his wife Alexandra, his right-hand man Michael, and an amazing group of other Heroic people.

You see, Brian has a mission. His mission is to help ...

"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for - perfection is God's business."   ~ Michael J. Fox

I have a confession to make… (although if you've been in my community for any length of time, you probably already know this about me) I am a recovering perfectionist. Yep, I have been trapped in the claws of perfectionism a lot throughout my lifetime. I don’t really remember exactly when or how it started. But I certainly can remember many occasions when it held me back from peace, happiness, and even success in my life.

So, it’s not only easy for me to spot a fellow perfectionist, but when I do meet someone who is suffering with this debilitating issue, it breaks my heart. Because I know all too well the pain that perfectionism can cause.

What about you? Do you suffer from perfectionism? Is being a perfectionist keeping you from fulfilling your true potential and living your best life? If your answer is even a tiny bit of a yes, then I have g...

“The eyes are the windows to your soul.” - William Shakespeare

It has been said that the eyes are the window to your soul. Yet unfortunately, so many people wear masks to hide who they are that no one ever gets to see their true beautiful soul. And sadly, not only does no one else get to know the real them, but they often go through life wondering who they themselves are because they have lost touch with their own selves from spending so much of their lives wearing a mask and pretending to be someone they are not.

Has this ever been you? What mask are you wearing?

You may have begun wearing a mask for protection but who are you really protecting yourself from - the world around you or your own self? Are you trying to hide who you are or how you feel? Maybe you feel like you’re not enough as you are or won’t be accepted as you are. That can be tough, and I understand that sometimes it really does feel safer to put on a mask and pretend to be something you are not. But life was no...

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” ~ Gloria Steinem

Have you ever lied? Come on now, be honest… maybe a little white lie, like the time you told your Great Aunt Gertrude that you loved her ham-loaf casserole, or the day you called in sick from work so you could go to the beach instead. Maybe you can recall times when you’ve simply ignored or omitted the truth by just keeping quiet. Some lies are bigger than other. And some truths hurt more. I’m not here to judge, but the fact of the matter is, we can probably all admit that we’ve lied about something.

Interestingly enough, I am willing to bet that most people lie to themselves as much as they lie to anyone else. And that just might be the biggest lie of all – when you realize you are living a lie! After all, lying is exhausting. And living a lie, well - that'll eventually kill you. Maybe not physically, although in some cases it might. But it can kill your hopes, your dreams and your passion for life....

“You’re only human. You don’t have to have it together every minute of every day.” ~ Anne Hathaway

I feel safe in saying that we’ve all made a mistake and then felt like a horrible person. Would you agree? Maybe you experienced it as a time when you failed because you didn’t show up as your best self in a situation. Or perhaps it wasn’t even a mistake or failure. You may have felt like a bad person for honoring yourself or speaking your truth instead of playing small, conforming or giving in to another.

Whatever the case, if you have ever uttered the question, “Am I a bad person?” Or perhaps you could replace the word “person” with something more specific like - mom, dad, friend, wife, husband, boss, employee, entrepreneur, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc. then this week’s article is for you; so keep reading…

Last week I had two people in one day ask me if I thought they were a bad person. One used “friend” the other, “mom”. And it made me sad to think that either of these people wou...

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment, it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”  ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

So many people put pressure on themselves to be perfect and what I find interesting about that, is the pressure of “perfect”, usually gets in the way of actually being your best. Maybe you can relate… Do you put pressure on yourself to be perfect or do you accept that your best is enough and simply make it a point to be your best true you each day?

This is where the fourth agreement, Always Do Your Best, from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, comes in. It really could be the easiest of all the agreements and yet so many people struggle with it. But it's not because they don't want to be their best, or they aren’t capable of doing their best. But rather, it's usually a result of not believing that their best is good enough. So instead ...

“There are hidden blessings in every struggle. Be grateful for every blessing both hidden and apparent.” ~unknown

Years ago, I was speaking to a fellow coach who believed that hardships and tragedy are things we should embrace and even love. Now I will admit that I completely balked at that idea. I mean seriously, “love tragedy”? Nope. After all, I’ve experienced a lot of hardship and loss in my life and have worked with clients throughout the years who have endured tremendous struggle and unthinkable tragedy so I was not convinced that any of those things were something we could love.

But what I do believe, is that although we might not be able to get to the point of loving what has happened, we can in fact look for the gift in those experiences and love those gifts. Because hidden in every experience we have – the good and the bad – there is a gift given to us. And if we can identify the gifts and be grateful for them, then we can turn them into empowerment for a better future.

Th...