Masterful Mindsets

“At the end of our lives we all ask, Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter?”  ~ Brendon Burchard

Every year on my birthday, I like to take time to reflect on my life. Honestly, some years I spend the entire month in reflection. It’s a fun way to celebrate and be grateful while also seeking ways to make the next year even better. And this year is no different. However, some years, I have had the opportunity to spend it with one of my mentors, Brendon Burchard and a group of fellow Certified High-Performance Coaches™.

We get together every year for training and some years it happens to fall around my birthday. We are able to be in a room together sharing love, wisdom, energy and an intense passion for helping people live their best lives. (It’s a training but it also feels a bit like a celebration!)

Anyway, as I sat to journal on the questions that I might want to ponder for my birthday self-reflection, I found that something Brendon always talks about kept coming up for me…

If yo...

“The eyes are the windows to your soul.” - William Shakespeare

It has been said that the eyes are the window to your soul. Yet unfortunately, so many people wear masks to hide who they are that no one ever gets to see their true beautiful soul. And sadly, not only does no one else get to know the real them, but they often go through life wondering who they themselves are because they have lost touch with their own selves from spending so much of their lives wearing a mask and pretending to be someone they are not.

Has this ever been you? What mask are you wearing?

You may have begun wearing a mask for protection but who are you really protecting yourself from - the world around you or your own self? Are you trying to hide who you are or how you feel? Maybe you feel like you’re not enough as you are or won’t be accepted as you are. That can be tough, and I understand that sometimes it really does feel safer to put on a mask and pretend to be something you are not. But life was no...

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~Buddha

Relationships require effort. Anyone who tells you differently is misrepresenting the truth of relationships. Now I am not saying that they have to be difficult or hard. But they do require effort. Trust me, after 31 years of marriage (which we are celebrating today) we wouldn’t still be deeply in love with each other if we didn’t put effort into our relationship. Don't get me wrong, sometimes even we need a reminder. Life can get busy and overwhelming. And when that happens, it's easy to take your closest relationships for granted. But to keep any relationship alive and strong, it requires attention and effort. It requires kindness, love and affection.

Do a check right now before you read on… On a scale of 1-10, how much effort do you put into each of the relationships you value most? If the score you give yourself doesn’t match the value of the relationship, then I’d say it’s tim...

“Comfort is the enemy of progress.” ~ PT Barnum

I was in a yoga class recently and the instructor asked us to ponder the question, “Will you choose courage or comfort today?” She left it open ended… and since it was the beginning of the class, it would be easy to assume she was just talking about our physical effort for the class. But of course, you know me… I took it much farther than that. Because the truth is, you could literally ask that question for every instance, decision or action in your life.

As class continued, my thoughts went inward, and I had an aha moment that led to a shift for me, which reignited my desire and passion for progress. So, I wanted to share it with you, just in case you need a little nudge to push you out of your comfort zone too.   

Now first, let me just say that being comfortable isn’t always a bad thing. We as humans are usually striving for comfort in some way. But it’s when being comfortable gets uncomfortable that we must recognize we are stu...

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” ~ Gloria Steinem

Have you ever lied? Come on now, be honest… maybe a little white lie, like the time you told your Great Aunt Gertrude that you loved her ham-loaf casserole, or the day you called in sick from work so you could go to the beach instead. Maybe you can recall times when you’ve simply ignored or omitted the truth by just keeping quiet. Some lies are bigger than other. And some truths hurt more. I’m not here to judge, but the fact of the matter is, we can probably all admit that we’ve lied about something.

Interestingly enough, I am willing to bet that most people lie to themselves as much as they lie to anyone else. And that just might be the biggest lie of all – when you realize you are living a lie! After all, lying is exhausting. And living a lie, well - that'll eventually kill you. Maybe not physically, although in some cases it might. But it can kill your hopes, your dreams and your passion for life....

“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

Would you say you are someone of integrity who practices being positive, honest, truthful, and loving? Do you stick to your promises and keeps your word?

My guess is, you probably want to say yes to these questions BUT, if you were truly being honest with yourself, would that really be your answer? Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying anything bad or judging your character. Odds are, you could answer yes to them when thinking about how you interact with others. But what about how you talk to yourself? This is where it becomes so easy to let go of our integrity, our compassion and our love. It’s sad really. What we say to ourselves is often so much more critical than what we say to anyone else. Think about it… if you talked to your friends like you talk to yourself, would you sti...

“The truth will set you free” ~ John 8:32

As we come to the end of this series on the lies that worry tells us, it’s important to note that worry and fear are two different things. Sometimes fear creates worry and sometimes, worry can create fear. For example, the fear of the unknown can cause us to worry about the future. And worrying about the future can stoke the fire of fear, making it grow out of control and keeping us from ever stepping forward into the future we want to create.

I could go on and on about the differences between worry and fear but that's a much bigger topic, so I won’t get into that today. For now, just keep in mind that there will always be things we fear. And that’s okay. True fear isn’t always within our control, and it is sometimes necessary in order to keep us safe. But worry is within our control and it rarely, if ever serves a purpose. So, if we don’t want our fear to paralyze us and hold us back, then it is to our benefit to keep worry quiet or bett...