Bad Person or Magnificent Human?

“You’re only human. You don’t have to have it together every minute of every day.” ~ Anne Hathaway

I feel safe in saying that we’ve all made a mistake and then felt like a horrible person. Would you agree? Maybe you experienced it as a time when you failed because you didn’t show up as your best self in a situation. Or perhaps it wasn’t even a mistake or failure. You may have felt like a bad person for honoring yourself or speaking your truth instead of playing small, conforming or giving in to another.

Whatever the case, if you have ever uttered the question, “Am I a bad person?” Or perhaps you could replace the word “person” with something more specific like - mom, dad, friend, wife, husband, boss, employee, entrepreneur, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc. then this week’s article is for you; so keep reading…

Last week I had two people in one day ask me if I thought they were a bad person. One used “friend” the other, “mom”. And it made me sad to think that either of these people would be so down on themselves that they thought they were bad. The truth is, they were being human. For one woman, she was not at the top of her game. A sick child, travel and a small amount of sleep made for a very difficult time. For the other, she was struggling with keeping her boundaries strong, not getting into drama and instead, encouraging another friend not to be a victim. Every been there? Telling a friend what they need to hear rather then what they want to hear… How is that being a bad friend? To me, it’s not. But then again, people hire me to be their coach, not their friend. And I do know that sometimes it’s hard to separate, so my friends often get the “coach” in me to respond whether they like it or not.  But the way I see it, I’m being authentic and real so what better characteristic in a friend than that?

Anyway, here’s what I told each of them and I thought just maybe, you might benefit from hearing it too…

• You are human. You will make mistakes. You will not always be at the top of your game. You will need to ask for help at times. That doesn’t make you weak, bad or a failure; it makes you real.
• As long as the decisions you are making are with the intention of being for your greater good and the good of those around you, you can never go wrong. It doesn’t mean your decisions will always be right or well received by everyone. But if you have the right intentions, then you can hold your head high. And course correct as needed.
• It’s about integrity. It’s about being authentic and real. It’s about showing up each and every day as the best version of you that you can be. And it’s about knowing that being your best doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It just means you strive to be your best true you. And if you falter - you stay resilient, get back up and strive again.
• Own it. If after you’ve examined your actions using the above you know you did what was right for you then own it and be proud of yourself. If you did not, then own that too and take the next right action to fix it.

That’s it! As long as you know in your heart that your intentions are good, you are being true to yourself, you always do the best you can, you stay resilient and when you need help, you’re strong enough to ask for it – then you’ll never have to wonder or ask if you’re a bad person. You’ll know without a doubt that you are a magnificent being having a very human experience.

Think about that the next time you want to berate yourself into thinking you’re a bad person. Use the guidelines above first; especially when you find yourself in situations where you aren’t feeling that you are at the top of your game. And breathe, you’re going to be okay! You are human and you are a great person! Now go - and be the magnificent human being you were born to be! Strong, resilient, loving and true.

***Need a little help judging yourself less harshly and loving yourself more? I have good news... 

I want to give you the tools and techniques to quiet that inner judge and instead, activate your inner wisdom so you can move negative thinking to positive empowerment. Which in turn will move you from merely surviving to actually thriving. Click Here to Schedule Your FREE KickStart Call Today!