Your Relationship with You

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”  – Lucille Ball

Most of the people I work with are heart-centered, service-oriented, high-performers and yet, extremely hard on themselves. They are quick to focus on the love they have in relationships with others but equally as easily, overlook the relationship they have with themselves. Sound familiar?

The problem is... if you're someone who wants to be your best and give the best of yourself to others, you’ve got to have a loving relationship with yourself or you will always hit a limit that you can’t get past. 

As the saying goes: If you want to say "I love you", you must start with "I".

One of the many areas I coach people on is having the confidence and courage to take risks and strive for success in all areas of their lives. And the thing I know for sure, is anytime you are pushing out of your comfort zone, you will struggle with fear and doubt. When that happens, if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, you will likely end up tearing yourself down, instead of building yourself up to take the leap to the next level. And because of that, you’ll stay stuck.

So, if you struggle with unconditionally loving yourself and all that you are (yes, that means faults and all) then there will always be a void in your life. Regardless of what your external relationship status is, if you aren't in a loving relationship with yourself, you're missing something. And it will hold you back from true success and happiness.

In addition, I believe that the greatest love you can give is to give love to yourself. For it is in loving yourself that you can finally begin to love others with your whole heart.

But you will never be able to give freely with your whole heart unless you can unconditionally love yourself. It's about being whole on your own, rather than looking for someone else to "complete" you. (I mean, I liked the old Jerry Maguire movie but let's face it, that was not a good message to send.) If you need someone else to complete you, then you're missing something and unless you can fulfill it from within, you will never be able to completely fulfill it externally.

It's time to heal the relationship you have with yourself. So, how do you love yourself unconditionally? Start with these three simple principals:

1. Be Gentle and Forgive Yourself - I have no doubt that you are probably your biggest critic. You are most likely harder on yourself than anyone else. You're going to make mistakes, it's okay. Be gentle with yourself when you do. It's okay if you're out there trying and make a mistake, the only real failure is in never trying. So, forgive yourself when you’re not at your best and move on.
2. Let Go of Perfection and Trust that You Are Enough - The easiest way to lose love for yourself is to pick apart every detail of your being. Know this now - your quest in life should not be for perfection based on anyone else’s definition of the word but rather, to be the best person you can be. You were created with everything you need to be exactly what you were intended to be on this earth. Know that and trust that who you are is enough to complete that mission.
3. Give Yourself Permission to Be You and Don't Try to Put a Square Peg in a Round Hole - Do not allow external expectations to dictate who you are or who you want to be. Love and honor the person you are as you work towards becoming the person you want to be. And by all means, if you are trying to fill a void by substituting other things whether it be food, drugs, alcohol or another person, involvement for recognition, for the lack of something else in your life, etc. know right now that you will never be satisfied. It's time to quit substituting and make the decision to go for what you really want.

I know that self-love can be difficult at times. In all honesty there are days when I still catch myself being extremely hard on myself. But loving yourself is truly one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself AND those you love most. Because if you can’t love yourself, you will never be free enough to love others with all your heart or love your life fully. Create a loving relationship with yourself… I promise it will change the way you view the whole world. You must love and believe in yourself enough to truly be happy.

***Give yourself some much-needed love! Join the Success Mastery Community and get 50% off the first month, using the coupon code “SWEETHEART” when you sign up now. (No matter which level you choose!)