Should You Seek Balance or Harmony?

“Balance doesn’t exist but proportion and harmony do.” ~ Danielle LaPorte

Your work. Your relationships. Your inner life.  – David Whyte calls these “the three marriages”. Each of these three marriages are nonnegotiable. They cannot be balanced equally against each other. A little taken from this and a little given to that – to balance work with relationship and with the self means we only work harder in each marriage, while actually weakening each of them by separating them from one another. These fundamental components of our existence must work to support one another, not to vie for constant attention.

We frequently and unconsciously structure our lives so that our work, our spirit and our significant relationships are set against one another in a competition of importance. Someone or something is bound to lose in this equation. When you deny one of the fundamental values of your life the attention it’s asking you for, your whole life is affected. I see it all the time, someone will ignore their life’s work to keep the peace in their household, and then feel a gnawing resentment that spills into how they treat the very people they are trying to please. Maybe you have had a similar experience… Or perhaps you’ve found yourself working late, again, when your partner is in genuine and serious need of your attention and affection. As a result, the guilt of your neglect stifles both the joy of the relationship and the joy of your work.

To be a whole person you need to fully recognize that you have these very distinct parts of your life, and that each part needs to be honored and tended to.

To ignore one of the major aspects of your existence is like refusing to go beyond your own front door – you limit your access to all the fulfillment that is waiting for you. But to let just anything or everything in that door, would only clutter up the very place you find peace and that isn’t okay either. You must know what you value enough to allow it to occupy your mental, physical and emotional space.

To harmonize your life, you need to let each part of it have center stage when it feels most urgent and essential. It’s about the quality of time spent there, not the quantity. And that can only happen if you give yourself fully to it in that moment.  

It’s not the imbalance of life that will get you down – it’s doing meaningless things that aren’t taking you where you want to go. The more you pursue what you are passionate about at any given time, the less friction and more fluidity you have in your life. And that’s the definition of harmony.

When passion is a priority – passion for family, for work, for meaning – your energy intensifies. And when your energy is more focused, more “aimed” you begin to care less about the things that don’t really matter. And thus allowing the largest proportion of your time, energy and love to go to what really matters and brings you joy.

Creating harmony in your life isn't as difficult as you might think. It's a matter of gaining clarity and having a plan that aligns with what is most important to you in your life. Want to know how you can get that clarity and harmony? Let's make a plan! Schedule your Strategy Session today!