Masterful Mindsets

“Begin each day with a little courage, a little curiosity and a little spring in your step.”  ~ Doe Zantamata

What excites you and gives you a little spring in your step? Are you doing these things regularly? If not, then what are you waiting for?

It’s so easy to go through life on auto pilot. Following a mundane routine, day in and day out. But what if you had the opportunity to make life a little more exciting? What would make you happy and put a little spring in your step today or this week?

If you find yourself living by the “When-Then Principle” as I like to call it, then I want to invite you to reevaluate what’s really important to you and make a plan to change the way you are living.

So, you ask… what is the “When-Then Principle”? Well, it’s that rule of life that you follow when you find yourself always saying, “When I __________ then I’ll __________” You can fill in the blanks any way you like. When I make more money then I’ll be happy. When I finish this project then ...

“Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.” ~Jana Kingsford

I had an opportunity recently to sit in on a group coaching call that one of my colleagues was hosting. He was teaching a segment on the concept of balance. Which happens to be a subject I love discussing because I’ve discovered in my years of coaching that most people struggle with balance more than they realize and it is often because they don’t understand it for themselves. Balance is so needed in our busy lives and yet so misunderstood.

It was interesting to hear his take on the concept. As he talked about defining balance and customizing our routines to fit, I couldn’t have agreed more!

If you’ve ever heard me speak on the topic of creating your ideal life, you know I think words like balance, success and even happiness must be defined by each of us for ourselves. When you base them on someone else’s ideals, you usually end up feeling discontent. Yes, you can have it all, but you must know what...

“Create a Life You Don’t Need a Vacation From”

My family and I had a trip to Italy booked for three years. Seriously… we booked it in 2019, planning to go in 2020 and then of course, COVID happened so we postponed it till 2021. And then it again got cancelled due to COVID. Only FINALLY getting to go last summer!

I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how disappointing those cancellations were. But the one thing that I can honestly say I am thankful for is that over the years, we have created a life that we don’t need a vacation from. Yes, we really wanted to go so we were super bummed not to be going on our trip to Italy, BUT it’s not like we needed so desperately to get away that our mental and physical wellbeing suffered from the cancellations. Let me explain a little more…

Creating a life you don’t need a vacation from doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take vacations. Vacations are awesome! And I totally encourage you to take vacations. BUT what I’m really talking about here is not needi...

“Balance doesn’t exist but proportion and harmony do.” ~ Danielle LaPorte

Your work. Your relationships. Your inner life.  – David Whyte calls these “the three marriages”. Each of these three marriages are nonnegotiable. They cannot be balanced equally against each other. A little taken from this and a little given to that – to balance work with relationship and with the self means we only work harder in each marriage, while actually weakening each of them by separating them from one another. These fundamental components of our existence must work to support one another, not to vie for constant attention.

We frequently and unconsciously structure our lives so that our work, our spirit and our significant relationships are set against one another in a competition of importance. Someone or something is bound to lose in this equation. When you deny one of the fundamental values of your life the attention it’s asking you for, your whole life is affected. I see it all the time, someo...

“The step from service to sacrifice can be a slippery slope.”  ~Michelle Weimer

I hope you took some time last week to complete the journaling exercise about whether you were more of a People Pleaser or someone who suffered from Superwoman Syndrome. Maybe you aren’t either. (Congratulations!) Or maybe you discovered you were both…

My bet is that you do have superwoman tendencies. In today’s fast paced and demanding world, it’s so easy to get caught up in constantly striving to accomplish more and more, as perfectly as possible, without ever asking for help. We “superwomen” want to prove we can do it all but sadly it is often at the expense of ourselves.

I know a lot about Superwoman Syndrome because not only do many of my clients deal with this, but I myself am a recovering superwoman. Yep, I admitted it years ago and yet I still find myself periodically getting caught up in the struggle. The step from service to sacrifice can be a slippery slope. However, now I can recognize wh...

“If you’ve ever felt like you had to be “Superwoman” to accomplish everything you’ve set out to do… Then it’s time to take off the cape and find your true power.”   ~ Michelle Weimer

In last week’s Masterful Mindset, I mentioned that those who are People Pleasers also suffer from Superwoman Syndrome even though not all who suffer from Superwoman Syndrome are People Pleasers.

This comment may have had you scratching your head, as it did some of the other readers in my community because I got a handful of emails about it. They really didn’t see a difference in the two. (Which likely indicates that they probably fall into the category of being both.) But I wanted to clear the confusion once and for all. So here goes…

I’ve already given you the Ten Commandments of People Pleasers as based on the book, The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome by Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D. And in reviewing that list, you can easily see that people pleasers most often do what they do t...

“I can’t tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”  – Ed Sheeran

Do you often find yourself doing everything for others at the expense of yourself? Or perhaps you have a difficult time saying no to other people’s demands or requests. So much so that you'd rather twist yourself into a pretzel than say no to them. And then there's the worry and anxiety which stems from a fear about what others will think or if they'll be happy with you. If you can relate, then it could be that you suffer from the disease to please...

I have worked with many clients throughout the years who admittedly knew that they were people pleasers. It's often what draws them to working with a coach. They feel burnt out and trapped into what I like to call, “Superwoman Syndrome”. (Note: Not all who suffer from Superwoman Syndrome are People Pleasers, but all People Pleasers also suffer from Superwoman Syndrome - more on that next week.)

Anyway, I was doing a little rese...

“The decisions you make determine the schedule you keep. The schedule you keep determines the life you live. And how you live your life determines how you spend your soul.”  ~ Lysa Terkeurst

Time management isn’t just about organizing your tasks and your time. It’s about making soulful decisions. So ask yourself: Do you have a desire burning deep inside your soul but can’t seem to find the time for it? Do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed BY life but feeling underwhelmed ABOUT life? Is how you spend your time in alignment with what’s important to you?

We all have the same 24 hours in a day yet some people seem to waste their time or fill it up with things that just really don’t matter or light their soul on fire. For some it may be because they are people pleasers. So they don’t want to say no to others and consequently, put everyone else’s needs in front of their own.

For others, they may be stalling or finding distractions as a defense mechanism because they are afraid to ...