Are Your Actions Congruent with Your Character?

"The truth of your character is expressed through the choice of your actions." ~ Steve Maraboli

Father’s Day is coming up so of course, it always makes me think about my dad. He passed away a few years ago and I miss him dearly. He was a man of great character and his actions always reflected that character. He had integrity. He was honest, hardworking, fair, reliable, responsible, loved his family deeply and he always showed resilience, perseverance and humility in the face of adversity.

Thinking about him, inspired me to share a new Masterful Mindset Series with you on Character. So for the next few weeks, please come along with me and invite others to join us, as we will be focusing on character. Because truly, I think we can all use a little tune-up in this area from time to time.

Character Traits are all the aspects of a person's behavior and attitudes that make up that person's personality. (Think “descriptive adjectives” here.) Everyone has character traits, both good and bad.

When you meet someone new, you usually look for their character traits right away. Are they kind? Are they honest? Patient? Joyful, polite, courageous. Maybe for a co-worker you’d wonder if they are hardworking, reliable, wise or responsible. You get the idea.

If you can learn to be a good judge of character, you can feel more at ease around people. When those negative character traits pop up like a red warning flag, you’ll know that the person you are encountering may not be someone you want to associate with. A few examples of negative character traits might be: arrogant, selfish, careless, lazy, inconsiderate, petty, rude, racist, etc.

Think about your own character traits… What are your best character traits? Do you have some not-so-great character traits that you’d like to change?

How do you discern someone’s character?

The easiest way… observe their behavior. A person’s actions will tell you everything you need to know about their character. Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words. Again, think about that for a minute… Are your actions congruent with the character traits you want to possess?

You also want to look for recurring traits and patterns. We all have a bad day here and there were maybe we don’t show up as our best cheery selves but if you notice that a person is almost always cruel, unfriendly or deceitful for example, then proceed with caution because odds are their true character is showing.

And of course, trust your gut. (But don’t judge.) Judging someone because of how they look or what they believe is not a way to assess someone’s character. However, if your gut feeling about someone is sending up a red warning flag then proceed with caution until you have a chance to get to know that person further.

My dad was a role model of exemplary character. And it’s something I strive for in my life too. I’m certainly not always where I want to be but work to grow every day. I hope I can help you grow too. And having clarity about the person you want to be is the first step to striving for that growth and change.

Take some time this week to think about your own character traits and the actions in which you express them most often. Write a list of both those you possess and those you would like to possess or get rid of. Because unlike your personality type, which many believe is difficult or even impossible to change, character traits can definitely be learned and changed.  Ask yourself if your actions are matching up with the character traits you want to live by. And if not, how can you grow and change them?

Want to work on building more positive character traits? The HEROIC app is one of the best tools I've found to help you live with arete and be an exemplar for others. Try it free for a month and then let me know how it's changed your character! Get access HERE!