Worry Lies - Part 3

“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” ~ Victor Hugo

In the past few years, our world has become increasingly filled with worry and fear. However, I did not create this series solely because of the uncertainty and turmoil that has ensued since this decade began. Because the truth is, worry is always there, ready to pounce and leaving us feeling as if we can’t possibly breathe from the weight of the worry in our hearts. We may never be completely exempt from worry. But we also must remember that more times than not, worry lies. (So, if you missed any of the series thus far, feel free to click on each lie below to catch up.)

As a refresher, the three common lies worry tells us that I’ve been examining in this series are:

1. The worst is going to happen.
2. You can’t handle it.
3. This will last forever.

Moving forward, today I am continuing our series on the three big lies that worry tells us, where those lies often come from and most importantly, how to overcome them so you can have courage to step boldly into your future.

Just like the previous lies, the last lie, “This will last forever.” is rarely true either but our worry, fear and pain can make it seem as such. Think about a time in your past when you had a hardship or struggle. A time when things weren’t going so well. You may have had that same thought running through your head as you were in the middle of the struggle. I can think of several along my own journey. However... most likely, they did pass and you did heal and even if the situation didn't change, you probably still grew from the experience and ended up okay.

The underlying fear of this lie often stems from the fear that you will lose something. (Time, love, money, freedom, happiness, etc.) When we think something might last forever, we often associate it with having to give up something or some part of us, forever. It can be overwhelming and scary. But most situations or struggles do not last forever. Don't get me wrong, it might not be because the situation changes, often it's because we are resilient as humans so we change and we get through it.

The pandemic was a good example of this. The world shut down and we were required to isolate for a very long time. Schools were closed, restaurants were closed, businesses were closed, and store shelves were empty. People were home and many felt the economic pinch. Not to mention the health risks and devastation from so many deaths. A lot was lost. It was a bleak and dire situation. And perhaps even more worrisome has been the feeling that the uncertainty and aftereffects of the pandemic will last forever. But the truth is, there is always hope and we have not only become more resilient, but we’ve also grown and adapted to move on. Sure, things may never be the exact same again, but we have survived so much and perhaps in some instances, grown stronger through it.

So now, let me give you a tool to help you sort through the worry of lie #3. First of all, think about what it is you fear losing the most. If whatever it is you are worrying about were to last forever, what would be your greatest loss or fear? Now at this point, you may recognize some of the other fears coming up again. Maybe the outcome you fear, that the worst is going to happen and the belief that the process of working through it is something you can’t handle, goes up 10x here with the overlaying fear that you will be at a loss because this will last forever. When you get yourself down to that last thought, what do you fear losing the most, if all that were to happen? When you know that, you are on to something because that is likely the root of this worry and fear.

Once you’ve identified that fear, it’s time to find the truth. As I’ve stated above, most struggles do not last forever. The most common truth here is that they won’t. But that’s not to say that they can’t. So in all fairness, I do want to make clear that if indeed whatever it is that you are worried about does last forever and you lose something that is important to you, the choice is still yours as to whether you let your future identity or your hope for the future, get lost along with them. It is possible that a situation could last forever, but you have the power to choose whether you will let your worry, fear and negativity last forever too or if you are going to choose hope, faith and joy anyway. You have the power to choose to move forward from any situation.

How do you do this? Here’s a tool to get you started – It’s called RWID. It stands for Relative Weight of Importance and Duration. You must decide what is important and you must also decide if the amount of time you are spending focused on the worry is equivalent to the level of importance. See sometimes the only thing keeping something lasting forever is us. We can choose to move our focus forward. If you are focusing on something “forever” that’s on you.

Decide what is really important to you and put your focus there. What you'll find is it's in the solution not the problem. Let’s take this pandemic for example again. I know that staying home was an inconvenience for most people. So were you someone who chose to focus on how long getting back on track has taken, what a pain its all been, how much time away from other things it took and all that was lost? Or did you choose to spend your time thinking about how you could enjoy the time off with your family, building those relationships up, reading that book you’ve been wanting to read but never had time for, learning something online that you’ve been wanting to learn or what you’d do when it was over? Because that is where you have a choice. Putting your energy and thoughts into what’s really important to you will no doubt help you release that lie that worry tells you because my friend, no matter what you might be going through, I would say that more times than not, this too shall pass.

Give it a try… be conscious of what you are allowing yourself to focus on. Is it important? Is it worth the time you are spending on it? Think about this… if you are worried about losing what’s important, the time lost worrying about it better be worth it. Otherwise, stop spending time on it! Move your thoughts into what’s important. And move yourself into hope for the future!

***Next week, we’ll wrap up this series on the lies that worry tells us by diving deep into the truth. So be sure you check back for that and join me for more on this subject during the next Weekly Wisdom, Live Community Chat in the Success Mastery Community. Learn what those who are the world's highest performers already know about how to be courageous so that fear doesn't hold you back from achieving your dreams any longer! Not a member yet? No problem... Join HERE!