How Do You Show Up In The Face Of Adversity?

How do you show up in the face of adversity? Last week I had a conversation with a woman about her life and it shocked me. Her story of struggle was hard to imagine. She’s been through so much in her life and yet she’s warm, loving and kind. She’s resilient, faith-filled and strong. Even in spite of all that she’s going through. I would have never imagined she was in the middle of a lifelong storm.

The truth is, it’s easy to show positive character traits when everything is going good in your life but sometimes the best way to truly know a person is to see how they show up in the face of adversity.

Which is why I want to take our conversation from last week (about how easy it is to assess someone’s character traits by observing their actions) a step farther and add that how someone shows up in the face of adversity really speaks volumes about their true character.

Whether it’s a small simple problem or a life altering event, how you show up in the face of adversity says a lot about you. Anyone can be joyful, kind and confident when things are going their way… but when you’ve been broken, when things get hard and when you struggle or fail… that shows true strength of character.

I have no doubt that we all have our own stories of hardship and pain. But for the most part, it’s those day to day struggles that give each of us the most frequent opportunity to show our best (or worst) selves.

Not too long ago, I challenged myself to try something new and I screwed it up big time! Which at first had me feeling like I wanted to scream, cuss and give up. But then I took a deep breath… I laughed at myself, I owned my weakness and my mistake, I persevered and made it through - feeling not only proud of myself for being courageous enough to try something new but also for the way I’d handled the mistake. In other words, how I showed up in the face of adversity, made me feel good about my own character. And guess what? People notice that more than they notice the mistakes we make. As a matter of fact, after this particular incident, which happened to occur in front of a group I was coaching, I got messages from some of the participants afterwards, with one even saying that she appreciated me being real, honest and vulnerable with them. And that I had actually inspired her to take some bold actions of her own.

You never know how you will touch someone else’s life by the way you show up. You’ve heard me talk before about being a role model – this is another example of how we can role model positive character traits to others because people will often relate to you more in the face of adversity, than any other time. So think about it… How do you handle setbacks or struggles? What kind of character traits show through when you are challenged, tested or experiencing failure? Are you proud of how you behave when things get difficult for you? Is it something you’d want to model to others?

For me, regardless of what happens I’m always most proud of myself when I am showing character traits that match the person I want to be when I’m being my best self. In this most recent experience of mine, I can proudly say I was courageous, kept my sense of humor, owned it, persevered, and figured it out.

Sometimes our greatest excellence is not in what we know, but in our willingness to learn. And our courage grows when we believe in our ability to figure things out.

So how will you show up next time in the face of adversity? What are your strongest character traits when you are at your weakest? And who do you know that models the character traits you’d like to possess to get you through trying times? (I can tell you that the woman I spoke with this past week was certainly a great example for me.) Remember that you never know when someone is watching or learning from you. A child, a spouse, a friend, a co-worker or maybe even a complete stranger. Show up as your best self every day – not just when things are going well – but always. Be your best true you, whether it’s a great day or a difficult day. And when you do that, you can always hold your head up high.

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