Masterful Mindsets

“Hope and fear cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Invite one to stay.” ~ Maya Angelou

In my last Masterful Mindset, I wrote about choosing courage over comfort. So now, I want to focus on another choice we have. This is the choice between hope and fear. So before you read on, ask yourself, if hope or fear is dictating the path you’re taking to your future? Which one do you want guiding you into the next chapter of your life?

With each passing year, both of my daughters consistently and joyfully embark on new chapters in their lives. (This year, my oldest will be leaving for college and my youngest will be driving!) It is so bittersweet for me. Watching them grow up and be strong, independent young women is exactly what I want for them but at the same time, letting them go… not so easy.

I have such great hope for their futures. And yet, if I’m not careful, I can easily find myself overcome with fear about their futures too. The...

“Comfort is the enemy of progress.” ~ PT Barnum

I was in a yoga class recently and the instructor asked us to ponder the question, “Will you choose courage or comfort today?” She left it open ended… and since it was the beginning of the class, it would be easy to assume she was just talking about our physical effort for the class. But of course, you know me… I took it much farther than that. Because the truth is, you could literally ask that question for every instance, decision or action in your life.

As class continued, my thoughts went inward, and I had an aha moment that led to a shift for me, which reignited my desire and passion for progress. So, I wanted to share it with you, just in case you need a little nudge to push you out of your comfort zone too.   

Now first, let me just say that being comfortable isn’t always a bad thing. We as humans are usually striving for comfort in some way. But it’s when being...

“Do something every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

When was the last time you tried something new for the first time? I posed this question to my Tuff Chicks Group recently because I think it is important to try new things, be open to change, challenge yourself and of course, as the featured quote says, do something that scares you!  

I was speaking with my own coach recently (Yes, coaches have coaches – the process works! So why wouldn’t we?!?!) and was asked to rank how much I feel I challenge myself and to name something I’ve done lately that has pushed me out of my comfort zone. It was kind of interesting because at first I was being really hard on myself and then I began to think of several occasions recently when I’d stepped out of my comfort zone to take a risk, learn something new and challenge myself big time with a huge project. Doing the exercise made me feel really proud, because stepping out of my comfort zone...

“Being able to selectively forget about the things in your life that don’t serve you might just be the most freeing feeling in the world.”

I was recently coaching a client through a session on defining her ideal identity and it reminded me of an old show I watched years ago. It was about a woman who had amnesia and was trying to figure out who she really was. As she began to rediscover herself, what she found was that she didn’t really like who she had been. So, she decided that if she was going to have to relearn who she was, she might as well learn to be who she really wanted to be. She chose to redefine herself, create new beliefs and make some changes that of course, lead to her becoming a better, happier and more successful person then she had ever been.    

I still remember thinking, as I sat there watching the show, that in a way she was kind of lucky. Don’t get me wrong, there would be many downfalls to having amnesia, like not...

“Create a Life You Don’t Need a Vacation From”

My family and I have had a trip to Italy booked for three years now. Seriously… we booked it in 2019, planning to go in 2020 and then of course, COVID happened so we postponed it till 2021. And then recently found out that it had been cancelled again due to COVID. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how disappointing those cancellations were. But the one thing that I can honestly say I am thankful for is that over the years, we have created a life that we don’t need a vacation from. Yes, we really want to go so we were super bummed not to be going on our trip to Italy, BUT it’s not like we needed so desperately to get away that our mental and physical wellbeing is suffering from the cancellations. Let me explain a little more…

Creating a life you don’t need a vacation from doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take vacations. Vacations are awesome! And I totally encourage...

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” ~ Gloria Steinem

Have you ever lied? Come on now, be honest… maybe a little white lie, like the time you told your Great Aunt Gertrude that you loved her ham-loaf casserole, or the day you called in sick from work so you could go to the beach instead. Maybe you can recall times when you’ve simply ignored or omitted the truth by just keeping quiet. Some lies are bigger than other. And some truths hurt more. I’m not here to judge, but the fact of the matter is, we can probably all admit that we’ve lied about something.

Interestingly enough, I am willing to bet that most people lie to themselves as much as they lie to anyone else. And that just might be the biggest lie of all – when you realize you are living a lie! After all, lying is exhausting. And living a lie, well - that'll eventually kill you. Maybe not physically, although in some cases it might. But it can...

“The secret of happiness is freedom... The secret of freedom is courage.” - Thucydides

Independence Day is one of the greatest American holidays, both for what we celebrate and how we celebrate it. I mean, who doesn't love a good barbeque, a festive parade and spectacular fireworks? But as our whole world knows, freedom is not something to be taken for granted. COVID quickly taught us that lesson. As a matter of fact, this year, is the first time in two years that it’s going to be possible for some people to actually celebrate the upcoming holiday outside the walls of their own home. And yet, I still encounter people who readily give their freedom away by being trapped within the walls of their own beliefs and fears.

What about you? Are you trapped by your own fears and limiting beliefs, or do you feel truly free to live your best life? I know one thing; our forefathers certainly didn't fight for our freedom so that we could be imprisoned by our own limitations....

 “The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” ~John Pierpont Morgan

How often do you find yourself dancing with indecisiveness about what your next steps or actions will be in your life? I will admit there have been times when I’ve felt stuck and hesitant to take a step forward into something new. The fear of uncertainty and failure can be paralyzing if you aren’t careful. But sometimes all it takes to move forward is the decision that you are ready to take that first step and the certainty of knowing that no matter where it takes you, you’re going to be alright.

I remember as a little girl growing up, my grandparents used to say, "Watch out for that first step. It's a doozy.", which I always thought was funny. But I was not lost on the fact that what they were actually saying, was to be careful because that first step could be tricky, difficult or even dangerous. And if you weren't...

"The will to persevere is often the difference between failure and success."  ~David Sarnoff 

When you hear the word persistence, what do you think of? For me, I like the way Josh Shipp describes it. He says, "Perseverance is stubbornness with a purpose." At first read, that is funny, right? But it also proves a valuable point. That sometimes what one person sees as a negative trait, another can see as a great quality.

I remember when I was a school counselor and I'd help students with their scholarship applications. Often they were asked to describe themselves. So I'd give them the directive to make a list of their qualities. Many struggled and they'd say things like, my parents think I'm stubborn, my friends think I'm bossy, my teachers think I'm…

As for myself personally, I've been called stubborn on more than one occasion too. So now I know, that just means I'm persistent. Which, in the right context, can be a great quality. (Being stubborn...

"When life seems hard, the courageous do not lie down and accept defeat; instead, they are all the more determined to struggle for a better future."   ~Queen Elizabeth II 

A lot can be learned about a person's character if you observe them during difficult times. They will show you their victim side or their victor side. They will show you their pessimism or their optimism. Their kindness or their bitterness... And as the quote says, those who are courageous will show that they are strong and courageous, in their actions and determination. While all too often, those who are afraid of difficulty or failure will never take the risk to move forward. 

Now that doesn't mean that those who are strong and courageous never fail. Quite the contrary - what it means is that they aren't afraid of failure because they don't see it as defeat. They see it as an opportunity to learn and try again. And most importantly, they know that their failures do not define them but...