Masterful Mindsets

“Always be yourself, unless you can be a ninja, then always be a ninja.” ~unknown

As I was preparing to write this week’s blog post, I was feeling a bit stuck for an idea. So, I did what I sometimes do when stuck, and that is read old articles I’ve written in order to find a subject for inspiration. (I could honestly fill a book with all I’ve written in the last 15+ years of delivering weekly articles/blog posts to you.) In addition to ideas for topics, sometimes it’s just fun to read through them again because many include stories of what was going on in my life at the time. Ummm… yes, I realize this is possibly borderlining on procrastination because I’m stuck. But that’s not the point of today’s post. LOL - Instead, what I want to tell you about is a post I wrote clear back in 2009. (And yes, this one involved a personal example.)

See, since it’s October and Halloween is just around the corner, I was thinking...

“It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.” ~ Rumi

Have you ever found yourself enviously comparing yourself to others or wishing you had someone else’s life instead of focusing on your own life’s path? When you try to follow someone else’s path, it can be uncomfortable and frustrating. Why? Because you are your own person. Every experience you have is uniquely yours because you are unique. Sure, you can model after how others do things, you certainly don’t have to reinvent the wheel but trying to fit a square peg in a round hole will surely only end in disappointment for you. True happiness comes when you free yourself to be yourself. And you find your true power when you start taking actions to move yourself along your own path.

So, do what fits you… do things your way, with your own twist. March to the beat of your own drum, listen to the rhythm of your own heart and know what...

“The launching pad for emotional freedom is always yourself.” ~ Judith Orloff

Last week I told you a personal story about how I discovered I was feeling stuck emotionally because I hadn't given myself the time to acknowledge and honor my feelings. As a result, my stuck emotions were screaming for attention in the form of some interesting physical, mental and emotional energy “mishaps” if you will. So, if you think you’ve got some stuck emotions that might just be wreaking havoc on your life… then this is for you.

Odds are high that at some point in your life, you’ve buried some emotions inside of you that could be holding you back in your life. You may not be consciously aware of these stuck emotions on a daily basis… but they may very likely be keeping you stuck and robbing you of precious emotional bandwidth that could be used for more peace and happiness in your life.

Maybe your unprocessed emotions show up in the form...

“You can’t move on to your next destination if you don’t get unstuck from where you are.”

I was speaking with a fellow coach recently who’d asked me what I’d been up to. I told her we’d gotten our oldest daughter off to college and then filled her in on all the details of what’d been going on in business and how busy we’d been with my youngest daughter’s soccer schedule. Then I said, “But I’ve been super tired lately and feeling like I’m stuck on some projects that I just can’t get clarity or motivation on.” With which she proceeded to ask me, “Have you given yourself permission to grieve?”

My initial reaction was, to wonder what she was getting at and what that could possibly have to do with my stuckness. I thought, “I shouldn’t be grieving. I don’t have any reason to grieve.” After all, isn’t grief about death and loss? Sure, maybe not always a...

"The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors." ~Michelle Weimer

If we’ve learned anything over the last eighteen months, it’s that life can be uncertain, unpredictable, and out of our complete control. So, although I certainly wouldn’t try to predict where the next year will take us, I do believe that regardless of those external circumstances, the quality of your life can be different, if you commit to shifting what you can control, which are your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.

So as today is the first day of autumn, a time when everything is changing – the weather, the leaves, our clothes, and our activities – let’s also use this time of year to change our thoughts, our beliefs, and our behaviors. After all, the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your thoughts, beliefs and behaviors so just as fall is a time when nature changes and lets go of the old in order...

“Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo

I believe that in order to continue to grow and be our best selves, it’s important to be a lifelong learner. It’s also essential to our growth and our happiness that we strive to learn about things we are passionate about. I was recently talking to my youngest daughter about this because she is wanting to grow and improve on something she is very passionate about. Likewise, our oldest daughter just started college, and she is loving her classes because they are topics she’s interested in learning.  

Problem is, some people stop being curious or interested. They stop being passionate and consequently, they stop learning, growing, and improving. Or sadly, some people never did enjoy learning (in the traditional sense) so they hesitate when it comes to lifelong learning. And I get it, learning something new is often low on the priority scale. After...

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” ~Maya Angelou

By now most schools are back in session and autumn is starting to whisper, “I’m on my way…” So as the smell of sunscreen is being overtaken by the scent of pumpkin spice, so too are our carefree feelings being overtaken by a sense of overwhelming tension.

It’s been over 18 months since most of us first learned of COVID. And with each new milestone of time that approaches, we anticipate the end of the madness, only to be faced with new challenges at every turn. I don’t think I need to tell you that the weight of all the “heaviness” our world is currently facing, is becoming a lot for many people to manage on their own.  

Combine all these emotions with the usual feelings that most people face as the last quarter of the year comes tumbling in and it’s no...

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~Buddha

Relationships require effort. Anyone who tells you differently is misrepresenting the truth of relationships. Now I am not saying that they have to be difficult or hard. But they do require effort. Trust me, after 28 years of marriage (which we just celebrated this past weekend) we wouldn’t still be deeply in love with each other if we didn’t put effort into our relationship. Don't get me wrong, sometimes even we need a reminder. Life can get busy and overwhelming. And when that happens, it's easy to take your closest relationships for granted. But to keep any relationship alive and strong, it requires attention and effort. It requires kindness, love and affection.

Do a check right now before you read on… On a scale of 1-10, how much effort do you put into each of the relationships you value most? If the score you give yourself doesn’t match the value...

“Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.”  ~John C. Maxwell

Have you seen those quick quizzes on social media? (If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably seen them on my story periodically.) They list a bunch of things and then ask you if you’d choose this or that. It’s usually something fun and cute like “Coffee or Tea”, “Mountains or Beach” – but what if there was a this or that quiz that required you to dig a little deeper for the answers?

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been asking you to choose between Courage or Comfort, Hope or Fear, and Stuck or Striving. How’s that for a this or that quiz? When you really think about the choices you are making in your life, do you like what you are choosing? I get it, it’s not as fun as choosing “Cake or Pie” but its choices like these that can truly transform your life.

So, let me ask you, what choices have you been...

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you aren’t going to stay stuck where you are.” ~Unknown

I often work with people who come to me because they feel very stuck in their lives. They either feel they have no choice about changing their current circumstances or they feel that despite their actions, nothing is changing.

Can you relate to either of these scenarios?

My guess is, that you can! Why? Well because at some point or another, I think we can ALL relate to feeling stuck. But the good news is, there is a way you can move from feeling stuck to striving! 

So first, the simple truth of feeling you have no choice is this… you ALWAYS have a choice. Even if it doesn’t feel that way. Now I get it, sometimes you might feel stuck because the choice is hard. Or maybe you have made a choice to stay stuck because the benefit in some way, outweighed the consequences. Or staying stuck where you were felt “less...