Masterful Mindsets

“Let the rhythm of your own heart’s desires be the beat you keep. Because it’s when you march to the beat of your own drum that your whole life becomes a passionate dance to the most beautiful music your soul has ever heard.”  ~ Michelle Weimer

Do you march to the beat of your own drum or do you give in to conformity because you are afraid of what others will think? Do you listen to your heart or do you make decisions based on guilt or shoulds?

Too often we try to drive our lives fueled by negative motivators but that doesn't work well. So if you really want to create the life you desire, you've got to let go of those negative motivators and start marching to the beat of your own drum... 

It's already March and before we know it, it’ll be the first day of spring. Seems like just yesterday we were celebrating the new year and setting goals for the future. I wonder though, how many of your goals were truly yours?

What do I mean by that?...

"You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand." - Irene C. Kassorla

Everyone has a story. For some it might feel like a mystery, a fairy tale, a drama, a love story, fiction, or fact. But perhaps what's most important...Is it holding you back?

I repeatedly hear "stories" from people about why they are like they are and why it has kept them stuck. They refer to all this as the "reasons" why they are stuck or struggling, why they haven't made changes or haven’t succeeded at their life’s dreams. But basically, what they really are - are the excuses that they've become comfortable with so that they don't have to step out of their comfort zone and change.

So I ask you, do you often find yourself saying things like: 

"Oh that's just the way I am.”  
"That's how I was raised." 
"My parents were this way, therefore, I'm..." 

Do you find yourself launching...

“I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.” - Mother Teresa

I’ve been a bit nostalgic lately for some reason, revisiting many relics from my childhood. First, telling you about the book, “Love Is” and now, I want to share another memory…

I had a little plastic figurine, that had a sickly-looking person on it with the caption that read, “I love you so much it hurts.” Truth be known, I think it belonged to my big brother or sister and they probably got it from a high school sweetheart, but none the less, for some reason, I really liked that little figurine. It was meant to be funny, whimsical, and cute. (Which it was!) And although I didn’t understand that feeling then, I have to say that in my lifetime, I’ve actually experienced that feeling on many occasions...

With my husband, when I’m away from him. With my girls, when I watch every...

“Love is…” ~ Kim Casali

What does love mean to you? What does love look like? Feel like? Act like? What is love?  

When I was a little girl, I found a book titled, “Love Is…”by Kim Grove-Casali. She made the book from a series of love notes to her soon to be husband, Roberto Casali. It was a funny little cartoonish book that had illustrated images of a couple in love doing mostly random acts of kindness for each other. Beginning with the cover which displays the caption, “Love is… what gives you a smile from ear to ear.”

It was a cute little book and yet so influential. I mean, here I am, 40+ years later, writing about this book! For some reason, I was completely intrigued by it. Maybe it was the adorable little cartoon couple who looked so in love or maybe it was the message of how simple love can be. I still don’t know, but it always lifted my spirits and I’ve never forgotten it.

So, although...

“Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.” ~Ezra Taft Benson

I was speaking with a client recently about an internal struggle she was having with her thoughts and emotions around a situation she’s dealing with right now. She is a caring and giving woman to others but never that kind to herself. And of course, as we all know, when frustration or fear are involved, our thoughts can become our own worst enemy. Can you relate? I know I sure can. 

Anyway, as we talked through her coaching session it reminded me of the old parable of the two wolves. I asked her if she’d ever heard the story and she had not. I did my best to tell it from my memory. (It’s been about 20 years since I’d heard it.) Then told her I’d find the story and send it to her. To which I went to my old trusty friend Google to search for it.

And sure enough, I found it right away. But as with any good Google search, I was soon...

“Nothing changes, until you change. Everything changes, once you change.” ~Julian Lennon

Today is Groundhog Day here in the US… the day when we wait to see if a groundhog will see his shadow or not and then predict how much longer winter will last, as a result of the outcome. Kind of a zany (and not very accurate) event, but one that is rooted in tradition. As a matter of fact, Punxsutawney Phil has been giving his annual forecast in Pennsylvania since 1887.

This quirky tradition also became the setting for a movie back in the early 90’s called Groundhog Day. Where the main character, played by Bill Murray, gets stuck reliving the same day (Groundhog Day) over and over until he can get it right. After resisting his situation for some time, he eventually changes his attitude and then starts to make changes in his actions each day so that he can change the outcome of the day and eventually get what he wants.  

Do you ever get the feeling that every day...

“Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.” ~Jana Kingsford

I had an opportunity recently to sit in on a group coaching call that one of my colleagues was hosting. He was teaching a segment on the concept of balance. Which happens to be a subject I love discussing because I’ve discovered in my years of coaching that most people struggle with balance more than they realize and it is often because they don’t understand it for themselves. Balance is so needed in our busy lives and yet so misunderstood.

It was interesting to hear his take on the concept. As he talked about defining balance and customizing our routines to fit, I couldn’t have agreed more!

If you’ve ever heard me speak on the topic of creating your ideal life, you know I think words like balance, success and even happiness must be defined by each of us for ourselves. When you base them on someone else’s ideals, you usually end up feeling discontent....

“You are enough, you are so enough, it’s unbelievable how enough you are.” ~Sierra Boggess

Last week I shared three common negative thoughts that frequently emerge when someone is pushing outside their comfort zone, facing a challenge, or struggling in some way. But quite honestly, none of them would likely crop up if they weren’t rooted in the mother of all sabotaging beliefs.

What is that belief? Well think about it for a second and then read on…

The mother of all sabotaging beliefs is: “I am not good enough!”

Yep, if you dig deep into your negative thoughts, odds are high you will find most limiting beliefs and fears are rooted in the assumption that in some way, shape or form, you are not good enough to handle whatever it is you are facing.

Don’t believe me? Try this little exercise the next time you find negative thoughts popping up in your head… If you ask the question “why” after your thought, what would...

"The thoughts we think and the words we speak become the reality we live." ~Michelle Weimer 

As a high-performance coach, one of my main goals is to challenge my clients to step up to a higher level in their personal and professional lives. And while I know it’s possible for everyone, I also know that sometimes it isn’t easy. However, most of the time, what makes it difficult isn’t external circumstances. It’s internal nonsense that actually keeps us from reaching our goals.

So, as you look to perhaps challenge yourself to step up to another level in your life this year; whether with your health, career, family, relationships, spirituality, finances, or something else… be on the lookout for some variation of these three common sneaky little self-sabotaging thoughts that might be holding you back from successfully achieving your goals this year.  

It's going to be hard. (Yes, I know I just said sometimes it isn’t easy but if you start...

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

Question: Have you set your New Year’s resolutions yet? What are you waiting for? How do you intend to create a life you’ll love this year?

Action Challenge: It seems that setting new year’s resolutions have become a thing of the past for many. Most likely it’s because too many times people set them and they don’t work (more in another blog post about why that is). But what if you had a plan to insure they’d work? 

If the nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach - you know, the one that keeps reminding you of your past resolution failures - has been keeping you from setting your intentions for creating a life you’ll love, then get ready… because I’m here to tell you that this is the year for real change. And I’m not talking about just saying you are going to make some changes; I’m talking about taking action and...