Masterful Mindsets

“The step from service to sacrifice can be a slippery slope.”  ~Michelle Weimer

I hope you took some time last week to complete the journaling exercise about whether you were more of a People Pleaser or someone who suffered from Superwoman Syndrome. Maybe you aren’t either. (Congratulations!) Or maybe you discovered you were both…

My bet is that you do have superwoman tendencies. In today’s fast paced and demanding world, it’s so easy to get caught up in constantly striving to accomplish more and more, as perfectly as possible, without ever asking for help. We “superwomen” want to prove we can do it all but sadly it is often at the expense of ourselves.

I know a lot about Superwoman Syndrome because not only do many of my clients deal with this, but I myself am a recovering superwoman. Yep, I admitted it years ago and yet I still find myself periodically getting caught up in the struggle. The step from service to sacrifice can...

“If you’ve ever felt like you had to be “Superwoman” to accomplish everything you’ve set out to do… Then it’s time to take off the cape and find your true power.”   ~ Michelle Weimer

In last week’s Masterful Mindset, I mentioned that those who are People Pleasers also suffer from Superwoman Syndrome even though not all who suffer from Superwoman Syndrome are People Pleasers.

This comment may have had you scratching your head, as it did some of the other readers in my community because I got a handful of emails about it. They really didn’t see a difference in the two. (Which likely indicates that they probably fall into the category of being both.) But I wanted to clear the confusion once and for all. So here goes…

I’ve already given you the Ten Commandments of People Pleasers as based on the book, The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome by Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D. And in...

“I can’t tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”  – Ed Sheeran

Do you often find yourself doing everything for others at the expense of yourself? Or perhaps you have a difficult time saying no to other people’s demands or requests. So much so that you'd rather twist yourself into a pretzel than say no to them. And then there's the worry and anxiety which stems from a fear about what others will think or if they'll be happy with you. If you can relate, then it could be that you suffer from the disease to please...

I have worked with many clients throughout the years who admittedly knew that they were people pleasers. It's often what draws them to working with a coach. They feel burnt out and trapped into what I like to call, “Superwoman Syndrome”. (Note: Not all who suffer from Superwoman Syndrome are People Pleasers, but all People Pleasers also suffer from Superwoman Syndrome - more on that...

"If the only prayer you say in your life is thank you, that would suffice."  ~Meister Eckhart

Thanksgiving is always a time when we are reminded to be thankful for the blessings in our lives, so I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to begin this week’s Masterful Mindset by telling you how truly grateful I am that you have chosen to allow me to be a part of your life. I value you as part of my community and am so thankful that we are connected.

Now, on to this week's thoughts:

I recently spoke at an event and shared some of the key concepts I live by, that have helped me create a life I can celebrate every day. One of those concepts is to live with gratitude and hope.

So, this week's quote is something that I often refer to in my own life because there are so many times when I am overflowing with how blessed I am, that prayers of gratitude are literally the only prayers I need to make.  And likewise, there are some times when I’m overwhelmed with...

“My Definition of Success: When your core values and self-concept are in harmony with your daily actions and behaviors.” ~ John Spence

Think about your greatest successes in life and what you value most. Odds are, if you are truly happy then your values and successes will be aligned. Why? Because what you focus on will be where you put your energy. Which is great if you can stay focused on what you value and believe in most. But sometimes, we don’t always live in congruence with what we value most and that is when things go astray. Because when you don’t live in congruence with what you value, your level of happiness can never be where you want it to be. And when you don’t stay focused on what’s most important to you, you’re likely to wake up one morning and realize that everything you’ve been working for is nothing that you really want. Or that will fill the void that you feel.

Reflecting back on my life as I celebrated my birthday...

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. ~ Oprah Winfrey

November is one of my favorite months of the year! It’s fall, the holidays are getting close, and the new year is right around the corner. It also happens to be my birthday month, so for me, it’s a great time to reflect on my life and be grateful that I’ve been able to create a life worth celebrating.

I truly have so much in my life to celebrate and be thankful for... My life is filled with loving relationships and a deep sense of purpose that I get to share with others every day. I am blessed to have a life that brings me happiness and joy. But I’ve also lived through a lot of hardships, a ton of life lessons and plenty of failures. Not every day has been champagne and roses. But yet as I reflect, what I see most are the moments to celebrate. The successes from working hard to reach goals. The growth from stepping out of the comfort zone....

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop."  ~ Mother Teresa

Do you often feel like nothing you do really matters? Do you feel like you're fighting a losing battle - one step forward and two steps back? In today’s climate, it can be easy to lose all hope for the future - for your future, the future of those around you and the future of the world.

But don't lose heart! What you are doing does matter! Every single action, no matter how big or small, matters. It may be hard to see at first, but with consistent action, you will see change.

My family and I love to vacation in warm climates which might be because this time of year we often find ourselves surrounded by snow! And I don't really like being cold. I'd much rather be lying on a beach, basking in the sun and playing in the ocean. I remember the last time we got away to spend a few days doing just that...

It was a great trip. So...

“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.” ~ Alan Cohen

We are coming to the end of the mini-series on how to organize your day for maximum efficiency. Today I’ll take on the last of the concepts that caused resistance from my original article. So, if you feel guilty for taking breaks or just believe you are too busy to pause during your work day, this post is for you. Because pushing yourself to keep working without taking breaks in hopes of getting more done, is actually causing you to get less done. The truth is, taking a break isn't a luxury, it's a necessity! Studies show time and time again that there are huge benefits to taking breaks - and increased productivity is just one of the many benefits.

I was talking with a colleague recently who was feeling extremely overwhelmed and overworked. She was under a deadline for a project she was working on and felt so much pressure to finish that she’d been skipping...

“Busyness is an illness of the spirit." ~Eugene Peterson

Last week I got on my soapbox about how multitasking or task switching, as it really is, doesn’t work and is just a lie we believe, which ends up sabotaging our productivity because it makes even the simplest tasks take longer to complete.

So now before we go on to the last concept that I’m going to cover for organizing your time for maximum efficiency (which I’ll talk about next week) I want to jump back on my soapbox and address a bigger issue. One that perhaps is the underlying cause of all this need to get more done.

You see, I believe that habits like multitasking are just a “symptom” of a bigger issue, which is that many people are simply busy being busy because they suffer from busyness sickness. When and if they do get caught up, they add more to their list and cause themselves to become even busier. Busyness sickness is often caused by being...

“To do two things at once, is to do neither.” Publilius Syrus

To continue responding to the messages from my recent blog about how to organize your day for maximum efficiency, this week I’ll be talking about a statement I made that caused a bit of a stir with some people. I said that, multi-tasking does not work. (“Multitasking is a Lie.")

Of course, I had a couple of people tell me that they are great at multitasking. Which, I’m sure they are. But being good at something that isn’t a good thing… still doesn’t make for an effective practice. (It’s kind of like saying you’re good at drinking. Doesn’t mean getting drunk is good for you.)

There is a common misconception that multitasking is a great way to get more done in a shorter period of time. Quite the contrary actually. Multitasking is really not as time efficient as you’d think. As a matter of fact, studies show that the time it takes you to complete...