Masterful Mindsets

"There is only one cause of unhappiness; the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them." ~ Anthony de Mello

I once heard someone say that worry tells lies. And I have no doubt that's true. Heck, I've experienced it myself and I've seen it happen with others on countless occasions. In particularly, worry tends to tell 3 HUGE lies:

1. The worst is going to happen.
2. You can’t handle it.
3. This will last forever.

Think about it, when you worry, what are you worrying about? What is your inner voice repeating over and over? Sure, it might not be worded exactly like the statements above but if you break down the chatter going on in your head, I’d be willing to bet that most of the time, it would be a version of these three beliefs at the core. And when these deep underlying beliefs bubble up, they can not only bring in worry and fear but also create a lot of unnecessary anxiety and stress.

So...

"When life seems hard, the courageous do not lie down and accept defeat; instead, they are all the more determined to struggle for a better future."   ~Queen Elizabeth II 

How do you handle difficulty and defeat? If you have a growth mindset, it’s likely that you see it as nothing more than a roadblock on your path to success or a learning opportunity as you keep pushing forward toward your dreams. However, if you have a fixed mindset, then you may see it as a reason to quit and give in to the seemingly paralyzing effects of failure.

In addition to your mindset though, a lot can also be learned about a person's character if you observe them during difficult times. They will show you their victim side or their victor side. They will show you their pessimism or their optimism. Their kindness or their bitterness... And as the quote says, those who are courageous will show that they are strong and courageous, in their actions and determination. While all too...

"Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there." ~Will Smith

How is your relationship with money? I’ll be honest, I haven’t always had the best relationship with it. I grew up with a father who was born during the Depression. He spent his whole life working very hard for very little. So I don't need to tell you that my own money story used to be one of lack and negativity. I've heard all the old sayings, many times:

>>> "Money doesn't grow on trees."

>>> "The rich get richer and the poor get poorer."

>>> And the one that really used to get me, "Money is the root of all evil."

Now my dad was well meaning and I knew that his relationship with money was based on what he had experienced in his life. But I also knew I wanted a different relationship with money. I wanted to change my story. It took me many years and several lessons in abundance - but I still remember when it all really clicked for...

"Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself."

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, that you are like the five people you surround yourself with most. So think for a minute about who you spend the majority of your time with… are they people who encourage and empower you or do you spend most of your time around negative people who would rather pull you down to their level than hold your hand as you rise to greatness together?

I realize that sometimes you don't have a choice. You may work with toxic people. Their negativity can bite you without warning and start to flow through you like gangrene. Creeping through your body and killing off the parts of you that contain your hopes and dreams. You may also have family members or people in your current social circle, like this. They are negative, non-supportive of...

“Relationships are like plants… Nurture them, they grow. Ignore them… they wilt away.” ~ Namrata Britto

Valentine’s Day is coming up next week, but keeping the love in your relationships strong, is a daily affair not just a one day event. So, if you haven’t expressed love to your significant other lately, or (even if you aren’t in a relationship) at least told the people that matter most to you how much you appreciate them… read on because this is important if you want to make sure your relationships aren't just surviving but that they are actually thriving!!

Relationships require effort. It doesn’t have to be difficult but it is essential. If you don’t nurture your relationships, they will suffer. Some can withstand the test of time (a rough patch here or there) but without nurturing, relationships will not grow and may not be strong enough to survive, let alone thrive. So rather than waiting to express your love...

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”  – Lucille Ball

Most of the people I work with are heart-centered, service-oriented, high-performers and yet, extremely hard on themselves. They are quick to focus on the love they have in relationships with others but equally as easily, overlook the relationship they have with themselves. Sound familiar?

The problem is... if you're someone who wants to be your best and give the best of yourself to others, you’ve got to have a loving relationship with yourself or you will always hit a limit that you can’t get past. 

As the saying goes: If you want to say "I love you", you must start with "I".

One of the many areas I coach people on is having the confidence and courage to take risks and strive for success in all areas of their lives. And the thing I know for sure, is anytime you are pushing out of your comfort...

“True success is a feeling of happiness and joy.”  ~ Michelle Weimer

If you were going to define success for yourself, how would you define it? It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that success is a certain dollar amount in your bank account, a seat at the top of the corporate ladder, a new car, beautiful home, fit body, perfect relationship, etc. You know, the storybook life that all too often gets portrayed through pictures on social media and in the movies. But what I think is even more important than “Instagram Glam” is the true feeling behind those images.

If you’ve ever gotten an email from me, you know I sign off, “Happiness and Success” all the time. There’s a reason for that… It’s because I wholeheartedly believe that they go together. See, in my opinion, it’s the way we feel about our lives that defines true success. You might have it all according to the external image, but if you...

"Don't call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses."  – Aaron Hill

Last week I talked about the importance of having clarity and focus when you’re setting goals and striving for success (no matter what area of your life you want it in). So this week I'm giving you Clarity and Focus Part 2…

Let's refer back to my example of wearing glasses – last week I told you that for a long time I fought the fact that I needed glasses to see clearly. But once I started wearing them, I realized how much easier it made everything.

Admittedly, I still try at times to get by without them. But inevitably, when I don’t have the clarity and focus that they provide, it always makes whatever I’m doing difficult.

But what happens when you have your “glasses” on and you still don’t have clarity and focus?

Recently, I was trying to do something and my focus was blurred. My first thought was, “What the hell?”...

"Focus. Otherwise you will find life becomes a blur."  – Anonymous

If you wear glasses, then you know how much easier life is when you have them on. Why? Because you have clarity and focus. Likewise, when you have clarity and focus about life, it makes having a happy, successful life much easier too.

But I get it, life happens, you get busy and before you know it, life becomes a blur. With the new year beginning, it can be easy to scratch your head and wonder where the last year (or ten years) went. And then your vision for your desired future can become a struggle to see, especially if you have a difficult time staying focused on taking decisive actions toward achieving your goals. So if you're ready to admit that you might need some help getting clarity about the life you truly want to create and refocusing your efforts to get there so you can make this your best year ever, then it's time to commit to clarity and focus.

Now let me...

“Resolutions require only words. Results take actions.”  ~ Tony Robbins

I have no doubt, you’ve probably notice that there’s always a lot of discussion about resolutions in January, then shortly after, the topic goes dormant and disappears until the next new year. My guess is, you may have even set down to write out your own resolutions this past week. Which is great, don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to bash resolutions, but I do want to make a couple of things very clear to help you actually succeed at them this year.

Often people will use the terms resolutions and goals interchangeably. And while they are similar, there are some distinct differences that I think it’s important to know when deciding to set resolutions or set goals. So today, I’m going to differentiate between the two for you and tell you why, although you can have a goal without a resolution, if you want a resolution to really stick, you must have goals.

The...