Masterful Mindsets

“I can’t tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”  – Ed Sheeran

Do you often find yourself doing everything for others at the expense of yourself? Or perhaps you have a difficult time saying no to other people’s demands or requests. So much so that you'd rather twist yourself into a pretzel than say no to them. And then there's the worry and anxiety which stems from a fear about what others will think or if they'll be happy with you. If you can relate, then it could be that you suffer from the disease to please...

I have worked with many clients throughout the years who admittedly knew that they were people pleasers. It's often what draws them to working with a coach. They feel burnt out and trapped into what I like to call, “Superwoman Syndrome”. (Note: Not all who suffer from Superwoman Syndrome are People Pleasers, but all People Pleasers also suffer from Superwoman Syndrome - more on that next week.)

Anyway, I was doing a little rese...

“My Definition of Success: When your core values and self-concept are in harmony with your daily actions and behaviors.” ~ John Spence

Think about your greatest successes in life and what you value most. Odds are, if you are truly happy then your values and successes will be aligned. Why? Because what you focus on will be where you put your energy. Which is great if you can stay focused on what you value and believe in most. But sometimes, we don’t always live in congruence with what we value most and that is when things go astray. Because when you don’t live in congruence with what you value, your level of happiness can never be where you want it to be. And when you don’t stay focused on what’s most important to you, you’re likely to wake up one morning and realize that everything you’ve been working for is nothing that you really want. Or that will fill the void that you feel.

Reflecting back on my life as I celebrated my birthday last week... I know that my greatest successes ...

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. ~ Oprah Winfrey

November is one of my favorite months of the year! It’s fall, the holidays are getting close, and the new year is right around the corner. It also happens to be my birthday month, so for me, it’s a great time to reflect on my life and be grateful that I’ve been able to create a life worth celebrating.

I truly have so much in my life to celebrate and be thankful for... My life is filled with loving relationships and a deep sense of purpose that I get to share with others every day. I am blessed to have a life that brings me happiness and joy. But I’ve also lived through a lot of hardships, a ton of life lessons and plenty of failures. Not every day has been champagne and roses. But yet as I reflect, what I see most are the moments to celebrate. The successes from working hard to reach goals. The growth from stepping out of the comfort zone. The triumphs over the difficult times. ...

“With organization comes empowerment.”  ~ Lynda Peterson

If you had a dollar for every task on your To-Do List, would you be a millionaire? If you are like most people (myself included) you probably have a million things you want to get done. But of course, the reality is that there are only so many hours in the day so you have to choose what will get your time. And if you read last week’s post, you know that choosing how you spend your time is ultimately, how you spend your life. And that… is priceless; so you must choose wisely.

You must visualize your goals and prioritize your tasks. But once you’ve done that, if you really want to spend your time well, you’ve got to organize your day with maximum efficiency. So if you are someone that has a long To-Do List that never seems to end or you have a hard time staying focused and on task, its time you maximize your time and get more done in your day.

Last week I told you I’d be writing more soon on helpful tips to organize your day...

"Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success!"  ~ David O. McKay

If you live and work in the US then you might look forward to an extra day off on Labor Day at the beginning of each September. But did you know, Labor Day is meant to be a celebration of the work you do?

Labor Day originated in the 19^th century during one of the most dismal and difficult time in America’s labor history. It was an annual event to celebrate workers and their achievements. These days however, most people don’t celebrate their work or achievements. As a matter of fact, according to Forbes, more than half of US workers are unhappy in their jobs, so it’s really just seen as an extra (and often much needed) day off work. But when you love what you do, it’s worth celebrating.

For most of us, we will spend the largest part of our lifetime working. I started working when I was 14 years old at a family owned ice-cream shop. And from that ...

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment, it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”  ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

So many people put pressure on themselves to be perfect and what I find interesting about that, is the pressure of “perfect”, usually gets in the way of actually being your best. Maybe you can relate… Do you put pressure on yourself to be perfect or do you accept that your best is enough and simply make it a point to be your best true you each day?

This is where the fourth agreement, Always Do Your Best, from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, comes in. It really could be the easiest of all the agreements and yet so many people struggle with it. But it's not because they don't want to be their best, or they aren’t capable of doing their best. But rather, it's usually a result of not believing that their best is good enough. So instead ...

"The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is the energy you bring to every moment." ~ unknown

Throughout this month we’ve been exploring different and perhaps less widely recognized, aspects of energy. Beginning with how releasing negative emotions can increase positive energy. Then we looked at the influence your energetic presence has on other people and on to the power of focused energy. Finally, last week I shared some of the sneaky bad habits that drain your energy.  

Now I want to give you a bonus, as we wrap up this month-long discussion on the power of energy and the pivotal role of energy in achieving high performance and success. Because as I mentioned at the beginning of this series, there are different types of energy that impact our lives, both individually and collectively. And in our fast-paced, demanding world, being able to maintain optimal levels of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy is not just a luxury; it's an absolute necessity.

So, ...

"When life seems hard, the courageous do not lie down and accept defeat; instead, they are all the more determined to struggle for a better future."   ~Queen Elizabeth II 

How do you handle difficulty and defeat? If you have a growth mindset, it’s likely that you see it as nothing more than a roadblock on your path to success or a learning opportunity as you keep pushing forward toward your dreams. However, if you have a fixed mindset, then you may see it as a reason to quit and give in to the seemingly paralyzing effects of failure.

In addition to your mindset though, a lot can also be learned about a person's character if you observe them during difficult times. They will show you their victim side or their victor side. They will show you their pessimism or their optimism. Their kindness or their bitterness... And as the quote says, those who are courageous will show that they are strong and courageous, in their actions and determination. While all too often, those who are afra...

"Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself."

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, that you are like the five people you surround yourself with most. So think for a minute about who you spend the majority of your time with… are they people who encourage and empower you or do you spend most of your time around negative people who would rather pull you down to their level than hold your hand as you rise to greatness together?

I realize that sometimes you don't have a choice. You may work with toxic people. Their negativity can bite you without warning and start to flow through you like gangrene. Creeping through your body and killing off the parts of you that contain your hopes and dreams. You may also have family members or people in your current social circle, like this. They are negative, non-supportive of your dreams or downright m...

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”  – Lucille Ball

Most of the people I work with are heart-centered, service-oriented, high-performers and yet, extremely hard on themselves. They are quick to focus on the love they have in relationships with others but equally as easily, overlook the relationship they have with themselves. Sound familiar?

The problem is... if you're someone who wants to be your best and give the best of yourself to others, you’ve got to have a loving relationship with yourself or you will always hit a limit that you can’t get past. 

As the saying goes: If you want to say "I love you", you must start with "I".

One of the many areas I coach people on is having the confidence and courage to take risks and strive for success in all areas of their lives. And the thing I know for sure, is anytime you are pushing out of your comfort zone, you will struggle with fear and doubt...