Masterful Mindsets

"You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand." - Irene C. Kassorla

Everyone has a story. For some it might feel like a mystery, a fairy tale, a drama, a love story, fiction, or fact. But perhaps what's most important...Is it holding you back?

I repeatedly hear "stories" from people about why they are like they are and why it has kept them stuck. They refer to all this as the "reasons" why they are stuck or struggling, why they haven't made changes or haven’t succeeded at their life’s dreams. But basically, what they really are - are the excuses that they've become comfortable with so that they don't have to step out of their comfort zone and change.

So I ask you, do you often find yourself saying things like: 

"Oh that's just the way I am.”  
"That's how I was raised." 
"My parents were this way, therefore, I'm..." 

Do you find yourself launching into a big "story" when something doesn't work out ...

“I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.” - Mother Teresa

I’ve been a bit nostalgic lately for some reason, revisiting many relics from my childhood. First, telling you about the book, “Love Is” and now, I want to share another memory…

I had a little plastic figurine, that had a sickly-looking person on it with the caption that read, “I love you so much it hurts.” Truth be known, I think it belonged to my big brother or sister and they probably got it from a high school sweetheart, but none the less, for some reason, I really liked that little figurine. It was meant to be funny, whimsical, and cute. (Which it was!) And although I didn’t understand that feeling then, I have to say that in my lifetime, I’ve actually experienced that feeling on many occasions...

With my husband, when I’m away from him. With my girls, when I watch every bittersweet moment of their growth into independent young women. With my father and my be...

“Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.” ~Ezra Taft Benson

I was speaking with a client recently about an internal struggle she was having with her thoughts and emotions around a situation she’s dealing with right now. She is a caring and giving woman to others but never that kind to herself. And of course, as we all know, when frustration or fear are involved, our thoughts can become our own worst enemy. Can you relate? I know I sure can. 

Anyway, as we talked through her coaching session it reminded me of the old parable of the two wolves. I asked her if she’d ever heard the story and she had not. I did my best to tell it from my memory. (It’s been about 20 years since I’d heard it.) Then told her I’d find the story and send it to her. To which I went to my old trusty friend Google to search for it.

And sure enough, I found it right away. But as with any good Google search, I was soon sucked into the vortex of the search and diggin...

“Nothing changes, until you change. Everything changes, once you change.” ~Julian Lennon

Earlier this week was Groundhog Day here in the US… the day when we wait to see if a groundhog will see his shadow or not and then predict how much longer winter will last, as a result of the outcome. Kind of a zany (and not very accurate) event, but one that is rooted in tradition. As a matter of fact, Punxsutawney Phil has been giving his annual forecast in Pennsylvania since 1887.

This quirky tradition also became the setting for a movie back in the early 90’s called Groundhog Day. Where the main character, played by Bill Murray, gets stuck reliving the same day (Groundhog Day) over and over until he can get it right. After resisting his situation for some time, he eventually changes his attitude and then starts to make changes in his actions each day so that he can change the outcome of the day and eventually get what he wants.  

Do you ever get the feeling that every day is Groundhog Da...

“Being able to selectively forget about the things in your life that don’t serve you might just be the most freeing feeling in the world.”

I was recently coaching a client through a session on defining her ideal identity and it reminded me of an old show I watched years ago. It was about a woman who had amnesia and was trying to figure out who she really was. As she began to rediscover herself, what she found was that she didn’t really like who she had been. So, she decided that if she was going to have to relearn who she was, she might as well learn to be who she really wanted to be. She chose to redefine herself, create new beliefs and make some changes that of course, lead to her becoming a better, happier and more successful person then she had ever been.    

I still remember thinking, as I sat there watching the show, that in a way she was kind of lucky. Don’t get me wrong, there would be many downfalls to having amnesia, like not knowing any of your friends or family. But woul...

"I’m proud of the scars in my soul. They remind me that I have an intense life." – Paulo Coelho

Have you allowed the scars of your past to haunt you and hold you back from living full out in your life? Or do you see the beauty and strength that can be found in those scars as reminders of an intense life?

Last Monday was Memorial Day here in the US. It is traditionally a time to honor those who’ve lost their lives while serving our country in the military. But it’s also become a time when we honor all who have passed on before us. For me that brings to mind one of the biggest scars in my soul.

I’ve been through some things in life that most would see as difficult and heartbreaking experiences. Of course, nothing as tragic or horrific as what those who serve in the military might experience or that someone who has grown up in an abusive home might know. But none the less, losing my mother at age seven and then later in life, spending eight years struggling with infertility are amo...

“Sometimes life takes you in a direction you never saw yourself going but it turns out to be the best and most beautiful journey you’ve ever taken.”

I read a short story once by Longtime Sesame Street writer Emily Perl Kingsley. It was something she had written to help people understand her experience of raising a child with disabilities, as her son was born with Downs Syndrome. She explains it as someone who’s planned and planned to take a vacation to Italy, only to board the plane and land in Holland.

Imagine the surprise and disappointment you might feel when you realized you’d reached the wrong destination. All your preparation, studying the Italian language, mapping out your trip, creating your itinerary, researching your destination, were all lost. Time wasted. Now you’re somewhere you didn’t want to be. At first you might not be able to look past the disappointment of not being in Italy to see what a beautiful place Holland was too. Yes, it’s different then you had planne...

“Never let a stumble in the road be the end of your journey.” – unknown

Will you be part of the majority that gives up on your resolutions or the minority that succeeds? I want you to succeed! Which is why these last couple weeks, I’ve given you some tips to succeed at making your New Year’s Resolutions a reality this year.

But let’s face it, even though it sounds simple in theory, it can be tough because there are so many things that can trip you up and keep you from staying the course. That point is proven when you consider that statistics show less than 10% of the people who set resolutions actually keep them.

So today, I want to conquer some of the most common pitfalls that can sabotage your success and keep you from sticking with your resolutions.

1. Too Many Resolutions – Trying to make too many changes all at once is a recipe for disaster. You are more prone to get overwhelmed and give up. Pick the one transformation that is most important to you and start there. If you s
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“Just imagine becoming the way you used to be as a very young child, before you understood the meaning of any word, before opinions took over your mind. The real you is loving, joyful, and free. The real you is just like a flower, just like the wind, just like the ocean, just like the sun.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

We all grow up learning certain “agreements” through our family of origin. Don’t get me wrong, some are good virtues and values. But some, are not so good. They are the messages that create the limiting beliefs which can hold you captive from being your best true you.

Sadly, some people spend their entire lifetime trying to break free of them. As a matter of fact, I often spend quite a lot of time with my clients, helping them overcome and rewrite their old life story into something new and freeing. It's in rewriting that story and no longer allowing the agreements of your past to control you, that you are free to create a new future. Otherwise, you often end up just repeatin...

"Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there." ~Will Smith

How is your relationship with money? I’ll be honest, I haven’t always had the best relationship with it. I grew up with a father who was born during the Depression. He spent his whole life working very hard for very little. So I don't need to tell you that my own money story used to be one of lack and negativity. I've heard all the old sayings, many times:

>>> "Money doesn't grow on trees."

>>> "The rich get richer and the poor get poorer."

>>> And the one that really used to get me, "Money is the root of all evil."

Now my dad was well meaning and I knew that his relationship with money was based on what he had experienced in his life. But I also knew I wanted a different relationship with money. I wanted to change my story. It took me many years and several lessons in abundance - but I still remember when it all really clicked for me...

I was sitting in my office after a long day ...