Masterful Mindsets

“Love is…” ~ Kim Casali

What does love mean to you? What does love look like? Feel like? Act like? What is love?  

When I was a little girl, I found a book titled, “Love Is…”by Kim Grove-Casali. She made the book from a series of love notes to her soon to be husband, Roberto Casali. It was a funny little cartoonish book that had illustrated images of a couple in love doing mostly random acts of kindness for each other. Beginning with the cover which displays the caption, “Love is… what gives you a smile from ear to ear.”

It was a cute little book and yet so influential. I mean, here I am, 40+ years later, writing about this book! For some reason, I was completely intrigued by it. Maybe it was the adorable little cartoon couple who looked so in love or maybe it was the message of how simple love can be. I still don’t know, but it always lifted my spirits and I’ve never forgotten it.

So, although Valentine’s Day is over for this year, let’s not forget that love is something to b...

“Nothing changes, until you change. Everything changes, once you change.” ~Julian Lennon

Earlier this week was Groundhog Day here in the US… the day when we wait to see if a groundhog will see his shadow or not and then predict how much longer winter will last, as a result of the outcome. Kind of a zany (and not very accurate) event, but one that is rooted in tradition. As a matter of fact, Punxsutawney Phil has been giving his annual forecast in Pennsylvania since 1887.

This quirky tradition also became the setting for a movie back in the early 90’s called Groundhog Day. Where the main character, played by Bill Murray, gets stuck reliving the same day (Groundhog Day) over and over until he can get it right. After resisting his situation for some time, he eventually changes his attitude and then starts to make changes in his actions each day so that he can change the outcome of the day and eventually get what he wants.  

Do you ever get the feeling that every day is Groundhog Da...

“Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.” ~Jana Kingsford

I had an opportunity recently to sit in on a group coaching call that one of my colleagues was hosting. He was teaching a segment on the concept of balance. Which happens to be a subject I love discussing because I’ve discovered in my years of coaching that most people struggle with balance more than they realize and it is often because they don’t understand it for themselves. Balance is so needed in our busy lives and yet so misunderstood.

It was interesting to hear his take on the concept. As he talked about defining balance and customizing our routines to fit, I couldn’t have agreed more!

If you’ve ever heard me speak on the topic of creating your ideal life, you know I think words like balance, success and even happiness must be defined by each of us for ourselves. When you base them on someone else’s ideals, you usually end up feeling discontent. Yes, you can have it all, but you must know what...

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls bloom.” ~ Marcel Proust

This week my daughters host their annual Friendsgiving celebration at our home!

I love listening to the hum of their voices talking and laughing. It’s been a little quiet around here this year as both girls and all their friends are away at college. So, I do love when they all come home. And although their friendships will change as they each start to go their own way; the ones who give consistent effort to stay connected will be able to pick up right where they left off every time they get together.

I think about the friends I have - acquaintances, colleagues, family, my spouse, my daughters’ friends’ parents, my workout friends, my long-distance friends, my closest friends, old friends, new friends, potential friends… and on and on. All different levels of friendship and yet all hold value and a place in my heart. Maybe you can relate, when you stop to think ...

“Comfort is the enemy of progress.” ~ PT Barnum

I was in a yoga class recently and the instructor asked us to ponder the question, “Will you choose courage or comfort today?” She left it open ended… and since it was the beginning of the class, it would be easy to assume she was just talking about our physical effort for the class. But of course, you know me… I took it much farther than that. Because the truth is, you could literally ask that question for every instance, decision or action in your life.

As class continued, my thoughts went inward, and I had an aha moment that led to a shift for me, which reignited my desire and passion for progress. So, I wanted to share it with you, just in case you need a little nudge to push you out of your comfort zone too.   

Now first, let me just say that being comfortable isn’t always a bad thing. We as humans are usually striving for comfort in some way. But it’s when being comfortable gets uncomfortable that we must recognize we are stu...

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you aren’t going to stay stuck where you are.” ~Unknown

I often work with people who come to me because they feel very stuck in their lives. They either feel they have no choice about changing their current circumstances or they feel that despite their actions, nothing is changing.

Can you relate to either of these scenarios?

My guess is, that you can! Why? Well because at some point or another, I think we can ALL relate to feeling stuck. But the good news is, there is a way you can move from feeling stuck to striving! 

So first, the simple truth of feeling you have no choice is this… you ALWAYS have a choice. Even if it doesn’t feel that way. Now I get it, sometimes you might feel stuck because the choice is hard. Or maybe you have made a choice to stay stuck because the benefit in some way, outweighed the consequences. Or staying stuck where you were felt “less hard” than striving to make a change.

No one can judge ...

"We need to accept that we won't always make the right decisions, that we'll screw up royally sometimes - understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success."  ~Arianna Huffington 

I absolutely love this week's quote because it stands as a reminder to me that failure is not a bad thing. And instead, a necessary part of growth and success. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. You see, I grew up with a well-meaning father what told me all my life, "You can't afford to make mistakes." Needless to say, it entrenched a huge fear of failure in me that at times would literally paralyze me from taking action - questioning my every move and staying in limbo for fear that the decisions or actions I might take, just might be a mistake!

Maybe you can relate in some way…

What are your deep-seated beliefs about failure? Perhaps you were programmed with a similar message when you were growing up that has kept you from taking huge leaps in your life. Do you ...

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.”   ~ Abraham Lincoln

I had a woman schedule a strategy session with me last week who told me she was feeling like a real failure because she had “already blown it” for this year. See she had decided that this was going to be the year that she got her health back, cleared out the clutter in her house and stopped saying yes to everyone’s demands of her. Yet after just a couple weeks she had found herself back in the old patters of unhealthy eating, not even starting on the house and pleasing others by overcommitting herself.  

Here’s the thing… the one resolution she hadn’t made, was a resolution to succeed at the goals she’d set for herself no matter what. Why is this important? Well quite simply because changing old habits isn’t always easy. So, without the resolve to keep working at it, keep pushing yourself to recommit every day, it can be easier to just give up. And that is where she was...

“Never let a stumble in the road be the end of your journey.” – unknown

Will you be part of the majority that gives up on your resolutions or the minority that succeeds? I want you to succeed! Which is why these last couple weeks, I’ve given you some tips to succeed at making your New Year’s Resolutions a reality this year.

But let’s face it, even though it sounds simple in theory, it can be tough because there are so many things that can trip you up and keep you from staying the course. That point is proven when you consider that statistics show less than 10% of the people who set resolutions actually keep them.

So today, I want to conquer some of the most common pitfalls that can sabotage your success and keep you from sticking with your resolutions.

1. Too Many Resolutions – Trying to make too many changes all at once is a recipe for disaster. You are more prone to get overwhelmed and give up. Pick the one transformation that is most important to you and start there. If you s
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“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out." ~Robert Collier

Let’s face it, success does not happen overnight. Ask anyone who has been called an “overnight success” and they will tell you that they’ve spent years, working at it, day in and day out, to make it big.

So why would anyone think that they are going to make a New Year’s resolution to change and then poof – overnight, they are changed? It’s not quite that easy… and thinking that way can set you up for disappointment. (That’s actually one of the many reasons people give up on their resolutions. – More on that next week!)

But before you get discouraged, there is good news. Because although it might not be quite that easy, it can be as simple as making small efforts on a daily basis. One of the most important keys to creating change successfully in your life is taking decisive, consistent action. But it does not have to be monumental action. As a matter of fact, there is rarely one giant step that doe...