Masterful Mindsets

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.”   ~ Abraham Lincoln

I had a woman schedule a strategy session with me last week who told me she was feeling like a real failure because she had “already blown it” for this year. See she had decided that this was going to be the year that she got her health back, cleared out the clutter in her house and stopped saying yes to everyone’s demands of her. Yet after just a couple weeks she had found herself back in the old patters of unhealthy eating, not even starting on the house and pleasing others by overcommitting herself.  

Here’s the thing… the one resolution she hadn’t made, was a resolution to succeed at the goals she’d set for herself no matter what. Why is this important? Well quite simply because changing old habits isn’t always easy. So, without the resolve to keep working at it, keep pushing yourself to recommit every day, it can be easier to just give up. And that is where she was...

“Never let a stumble in the road be the end of your journey.” – unknown

Will you be part of the majority that gives up on your resolutions or the minority that succeeds? I want you to succeed! Which is why these last couple weeks, I’ve given you some tips to succeed at making your New Year’s Resolutions a reality this year.

But let’s face it, even though it sounds simple in theory, it can be tough because there are so many things that can trip you up and keep you from staying the course. That point is proven when you consider that statistics show less than 10% of the people who set resolutions actually keep them.

So today, I want to conquer some of the most common pitfalls that can sabotage your success and keep you from sticking with your resolutions.

1. Too Many Resolutions – Trying to make too many changes all at once is a recipe for disaster. You are more prone to get overwhelmed and give up. Pick the one transformation that is most important to you and start there. If you s
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“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out." ~Robert Collier

Let’s face it, success does not happen overnight. Ask anyone who has been called an “overnight success” and they will tell you that they’ve spent years, working at it, day in and day out, to make it big.

So why would anyone think that they are going to make a New Year’s resolution to change and then poof – overnight, they are changed? It’s not quite that easy… and thinking that way can set you up for disappointment. (That’s actually one of the many reasons people give up on their resolutions. – More on that next week!)

But before you get discouraged, there is good news. Because although it might not be quite that easy, it can be as simple as making small efforts on a daily basis. One of the most important keys to creating change successfully in your life is taking decisive, consistent action. But it does not have to be monumental action. As a matter of fact, there is rarely one giant step that doe...

“If you’ve ever felt like you had to be “Superwoman” to accomplish everything you’ve set out to do… Then it’s time to take off the cape and find your true power.”   ~ Michelle Weimer

In last week’s Masterful Mindset, I mentioned that those who are People Pleasers also suffer from Superwoman Syndrome even though not all who suffer from Superwoman Syndrome are People Pleasers.

This comment may have had you scratching your head, as it did some of the other readers in my community because I got a handful of emails about it. They really didn’t see a difference in the two. (Which likely indicates that they probably fall into the category of being both.) But I wanted to clear the confusion once and for all. So here goes…

I’ve already given you the Ten Commandments of People Pleasers as based on the book, The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome by Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D. And in reviewing that list, you can easily see that people pleasers most often do what they do t...

“My Definition of Success: When your core values and self-concept are in harmony with your daily actions and behaviors.” ~ John Spence

Think about your greatest successes in life and what you value most. Odds are, if you are truly happy then your values and successes will be aligned. Why? Because what you focus on will be where you put your energy. Which is great if you can stay focused on what you value and believe in most. But sometimes, we don’t always live in congruence with what we value most and that is when things go astray. Because when you don’t live in congruence with what you value, your level of happiness can never be where you want it to be. And when you don’t stay focused on what’s most important to you, you’re likely to wake up one morning and realize that everything you’ve been working for is nothing that you really want. Or that will fill the void that you feel.

Reflecting back on my life as I celebrated my birthday last week... I know that my greatest successes ...

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. ~ Oprah Winfrey

November is one of my favorite months of the year! It’s fall, the holidays are getting close, and the new year is right around the corner. It also happens to be my birthday month, so for me, it’s a great time to reflect on my life and be grateful that I’ve been able to create a life worth celebrating.

I truly have so much in my life to celebrate and be thankful for... My life is filled with loving relationships and a deep sense of purpose that I get to share with others every day. I am blessed to have a life that brings me happiness and joy. But I’ve also lived through a lot of hardships, a ton of life lessons and plenty of failures. Not every day has been champagne and roses. But yet as I reflect, what I see most are the moments to celebrate. The successes from working hard to reach goals. The growth from stepping out of the comfort zone. The triumphs over the difficult times. ...

“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”  ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

I received an email recently from a reader who was having trouble with a co-worker. I knew as soon as I read what she had described to be going on, that it was a great example of the Second Agreement from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, so I wanted to share it with you…

She was feeling attacked and hurt because the co-worker was always extremely rude and disrespectful to her. She felt she was the victim of his rants because she was a soft-spoken woman who didn’t like conflict. So, I invited her to get on the phone with me for a Strategy Session, to see if I could help her feel more empowered.

After briefly discussing the situation and the environment at work, I was able to help her quickly discover that the co-worker’s behavior...

“Let us be thankful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” ~Marcel Proust

If you live in the US, odds are you’re preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday tomorrow. Which can mean many different things for people. For some it’s no more than an excuse to eat and drink too much. Or a much-needed day off from work. But for most people, it’s a day to get together with family and friends to remember what we are most thankful for. And if you’re lucky, the two go together… the people you’re with are in fact what you are most thankful for. So, as we prepare for this day of thanksgiving… why not use this as a time for reflection and sharing with those we truly are grateful for.

Going back to the research I’ve been sharing with you over the last couple of weeks from Robert Emmons, who wrote the book Gratitude Works! I want to share another idea for how you can practice gratitude in a powerful way and in fact, share the gift of gratitude. ...

"Trust yourself. Trust your path." ~unknown

Ever worry about the future? I know, dumb question, right? I don’t know anyone who at some point or another… sometimes or maybe always… worries about the future. It happens. So, I want to tell you about an experience I had recently in hopes that it might serve as a reminder to you that you don’t have to be afraid of the future.

See, I’ve been losing sleep lately. Yes, maybe it’s my unruly midlife hormones fluctuating up and down but on top of that, it’s the worry and fear I’ve been feeling for the future. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve also been feeling a great deal of excitement for the future. Our family is on the cusp of some big transitions....

My oldest daughter, in her second year of college, has been learning the not so fun parts of adulting and with every year that goes by, she gets closer to full adulthood with all it's responsibilities. The uncertainty of where she’ll live, and her career options are just the tip of the iceberg...

“If you work hard at a job you hate, imagine what you could do at a job you love?”  ~Michelle Weimer

As we continue this conversation about loving your work, it amazes me how many people not only don’t love their jobs, they don’t even like them. Work is where you spend at least a third of your day. Why would you continue to allow yourself to be miserable, day after day in a job you hate? 

The short answer - most people feel stuck and can't see a way out...

I talk to so many people who feel that they are stuck and can’t change careers even though they are miserable doing what they are doing. And I’ve had numerous clients hire me because of this exact problem. They feel like their career is going nowhere, they don’t really love or even like what they do but yet, they feel trapped into staying because they have bills to pay, they don’t want to lose their benefits, they don’t know what else they want to do, how to do it, etc.

The thing is, all the above reasons focus on the problem...