Masterful Mindsets

“Comfort is the enemy of progress.” ~ PT Barnum

I was in a yoga class recently and the instructor asked us to ponder the question, “Will you choose courage or comfort today?” She left it open ended… and since it was the beginning of the class, it would be easy to assume she was just talking about our physical effort for the class. But of course, you know me… I took it much farther than that. Because the truth is, you could literally ask that question for every instance, decision or action in your life.

As class continued, my thoughts went inward, and I had an aha moment that led to a shift for me, which reignited my desire and passion for progress. So, I wanted to share it with you, just in case you need a little nudge to push you out of your comfort zone too.   

Now first, let me just say that being comfortable isn’t always a bad thing. We as humans are usually striving for comfort in some way. But it’s when being comfortable gets uncomfortable that we must recognize we are stu...

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you aren’t going to stay stuck where you are.” ~Unknown

I often work with people who come to me because they feel very stuck in their lives. They either feel they have no choice about changing their current circumstances or they feel that despite their actions, nothing is changing.

Can you relate to either of these scenarios?

My guess is, that you can! Why? Well because at some point or another, I think we can ALL relate to feeling stuck. But the good news is, there is a way you can move from feeling stuck to striving! 

So first, the simple truth of feeling you have no choice is this… you ALWAYS have a choice. Even if it doesn’t feel that way. Now I get it, sometimes you might feel stuck because the choice is hard. Or maybe you have made a choice to stay stuck because the benefit in some way, outweighed the consequences. Or staying stuck where you were felt “less hard” than striving to make a change.

No one can judge ...

"We need to accept that we won't always make the right decisions, that we'll screw up royally sometimes - understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success."  ~Arianna Huffington 

I absolutely love this week's quote because it stands as a reminder to me that failure is not a bad thing. And instead, a necessary part of growth and success. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. You see, I grew up with a well-meaning father what told me all my life, "You can't afford to make mistakes." Needless to say, it entrenched a huge fear of failure in me that at times would literally paralyze me from taking action - questioning my every move and staying in limbo for fear that the decisions or actions I might take, just might be a mistake!

Maybe you can relate in some way…

What are your deep-seated beliefs about failure? Perhaps you were programmed with a similar message when you were growing up that has kept you from taking huge leaps in your life. Do you ...

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.”   ~ Abraham Lincoln

I had a woman schedule a strategy session with me last week who told me she was feeling like a real failure because she had “already blown it” for this year. See she had decided that this was going to be the year that she got her health back, cleared out the clutter in her house and stopped saying yes to everyone’s demands of her. Yet after just a couple weeks she had found herself back in the old patters of unhealthy eating, not even starting on the house and pleasing others by overcommitting herself.  

Here’s the thing… the one resolution she hadn’t made, was a resolution to succeed at the goals she’d set for herself no matter what. Why is this important? Well quite simply because changing old habits isn’t always easy. So, without the resolve to keep working at it, keep pushing yourself to recommit every day, it can be easier to just give up. And that is where she was...

“Never let a stumble in the road be the end of your journey.” – unknown

Will you be part of the majority that gives up on your resolutions or the minority that succeeds? I want you to succeed! Which is why these last couple weeks, I’ve given you some tips to succeed at making your New Year’s Resolutions a reality this year.

But let’s face it, even though it sounds simple in theory, it can be tough because there are so many things that can trip you up and keep you from staying the course. That point is proven when you consider that statistics show less than 10% of the people who set resolutions actually keep them.

So today, I want to conquer some of the most common pitfalls that can sabotage your success and keep you from sticking with your resolutions.

1. Too Many Resolutions – Trying to make too many changes all at once is a recipe for disaster. You are more prone to get overwhelmed and give up. Pick the one transformation that is most important to you and start there. If you s
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“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out." ~Robert Collier

Let’s face it, success does not happen overnight. Ask anyone who has been called an “overnight success” and they will tell you that they’ve spent years, working at it, day in and day out, to make it big.

So why would anyone think that they are going to make a New Year’s resolution to change and then poof – overnight, they are changed? It’s not quite that easy… and thinking that way can set you up for disappointment. (That’s actually one of the many reasons people give up on their resolutions. – More on that next week!)

But before you get discouraged, there is good news. Because although it might not be quite that easy, it can be as simple as making small efforts on a daily basis. One of the most important keys to creating change successfully in your life is taking decisive, consistent action. But it does not have to be monumental action. As a matter of fact, there is rarely one giant step that doe...

“If you’ve ever felt like you had to be “Superwoman” to accomplish everything you’ve set out to do… Then it’s time to take off the cape and find your true power.”   ~ Michelle Weimer

In last week’s Masterful Mindset, I mentioned that those who are People Pleasers also suffer from Superwoman Syndrome even though not all who suffer from Superwoman Syndrome are People Pleasers.

This comment may have had you scratching your head, as it did some of the other readers in my community because I got a handful of emails about it. They really didn’t see a difference in the two. (Which likely indicates that they probably fall into the category of being both.) But I wanted to clear the confusion once and for all. So here goes…

I’ve already given you the Ten Commandments of People Pleasers as based on the book, The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome by Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D. And in reviewing that list, you can easily see that people pleasers most often do what they do t...

“My Definition of Success: When your core values and self-concept are in harmony with your daily actions and behaviors.” ~ John Spence

Think about your greatest successes in life and what you value most. Odds are, if you are truly happy then your values and successes will be aligned. Why? Because what you focus on will be where you put your energy. Which is great if you can stay focused on what you value and believe in most. But sometimes, we don’t always live in congruence with what we value most and that is when things go astray. Because when you don’t live in congruence with what you value, your level of happiness can never be where you want it to be. And when you don’t stay focused on what’s most important to you, you’re likely to wake up one morning and realize that everything you’ve been working for is nothing that you really want. Or that will fill the void that you feel.

Reflecting back on my life as I celebrated my birthday last week... I know that my greatest successes ...

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. ~ Oprah Winfrey

November is one of my favorite months of the year! It’s fall, the holidays are getting close, and the new year is right around the corner. It also happens to be my birthday month, so for me, it’s a great time to reflect on my life and be grateful that I’ve been able to create a life worth celebrating.

I truly have so much in my life to celebrate and be thankful for... My life is filled with loving relationships and a deep sense of purpose that I get to share with others every day. I am blessed to have a life that brings me happiness and joy. But I’ve also lived through a lot of hardships, a ton of life lessons and plenty of failures. Not every day has been champagne and roses. But yet as I reflect, what I see most are the moments to celebrate. The successes from working hard to reach goals. The growth from stepping out of the comfort zone. The triumphs over the difficult times. ...

“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”  ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

I received an email recently from a reader who was having trouble with a co-worker. I knew as soon as I read what she had described to be going on, that it was a great example of the Second Agreement from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, so I wanted to share it with you…

She was feeling attacked and hurt because the co-worker was always extremely rude and disrespectful to her. She felt she was the victim of his rants because she was a soft-spoken woman who didn’t like conflict. So, I invited her to get on the phone with me for a Strategy Session, to see if I could help her feel more empowered.

After briefly discussing the situation and the environment at work, I was able to help her quickly discover that the co-worker’s behavior...