Masterful Mindsets

“Hope and fear cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Invite one to stay.” ~ Maya Angelou

In my last Masterful Mindset, I wrote about choosing courage over comfort. So now, I want to focus on another choice we have. This is the choice between hope and fear. So before you read on, ask yourself, if hope or fear is dictating the path you’re taking to your future? Which one do you want guiding you into the next chapter of your life?

With each passing year, both of my daughters consistently and joyfully embark on new chapters in their lives. (This year, my oldest will be graduating college and my youngest will be leaving for college) at I want for them but at the same time, letting them go… not so easy.

I have such great hope for their futures. And yet, if I’m not careful, I can easily find myself overcome with fear about their futures too. The uncertainty, the risks, the fact that I truly cannot be there to protect them every step of the way nor am I in control of everything...

“Comfort is the enemy of progress.” ~ PT Barnum

I was in a yoga class recently and the instructor asked us to ponder the question, “Will you choose courage or comfort today?” She left it open ended… and since it was the beginning of the class, it would be easy to assume she was just talking about our physical effort for the class. But of course, you know me… I took it much farther than that. Because the truth is, you could literally ask that question for every instance, decision or action in your life.

As class continued, my thoughts went inward, and I had an aha moment that led to a shift for me, which reignited my desire and passion for progress. So, I wanted to share it with you, just in case you need a little nudge to push you out of your comfort zone too.   

Now first, let me just say that being comfortable isn’t always a bad thing. We as humans are usually striving for comfort in some way. But it’s when being comfortable gets uncomfortable that we must recognize we are stu...

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you aren’t going to stay stuck where you are.” ~Unknown

I often work with people who come to me because they feel very stuck in their lives. They either feel they have no choice about changing their current circumstances or they feel that despite their actions, nothing is changing.

Can you relate to either of these scenarios?

My guess is, that you can! Why? Well because at some point or another, I think we can ALL relate to feeling stuck. But the good news is, there is a way you can move from feeling stuck to striving! 

So first, the simple truth of feeling you have no choice is this… you ALWAYS have a choice. Even if it doesn’t feel that way. Now I get it, sometimes you might feel stuck because the choice is hard. Or maybe you have made a choice to stay stuck because the benefit in some way, outweighed the consequences. Or staying stuck where you were felt “less hard” than striving to make a change.

No one can judge ...

“Being able to selectively forget about the things in your life that don’t serve you might just be the most freeing feeling in the world.”

I was recently coaching a client through a session on defining her ideal identity and it reminded me of an old show I watched years ago. It was about a woman who had amnesia and was trying to figure out who she really was. As she began to rediscover herself, what she found was that she didn’t really like who she had been. So, she decided that if she was going to have to relearn who she was, she might as well learn to be who she really wanted to be. She chose to redefine herself, create new beliefs and make some changes that of course, lead to her becoming a better, happier and more successful person then she had ever been.    

I still remember thinking, as I sat there watching the show, that in a way she was kind of lucky. Don’t get me wrong, there would be many downfalls to having amnesia, like not knowing any of your friends or family. But woul...

“Do something every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

When was the last time you tried something new for the first time? I posed this question to my Tuff Chicks Group recently because I think it is important to try new things, be open to change, challenge yourself and of course, as the featured quote says, do something that scares you!  

I was speaking with my own coach recently (Yes, coaches have coaches – the process works! So why wouldn’t we?!?!) and was asked to rank how much I feel I challenge myself and to name something I’ve done lately that has pushed me out of my comfort zone. It was kind of interesting because at first I was being really hard on myself and then I began to think of several occasions recently when I’d stepped out of my comfort zone to take a risk, learn something new and challenge myself big time with a huge project. Doing the exercise made me feel really proud, because stepping out of my comfort zone is something that I try to challenge myself to...

“Create a Life You Don’t Need a Vacation From”

My family and I had a trip to Italy booked for three years. Seriously… we booked it in 2019, planning to go in 2020 and then of course, COVID happened so we postponed it till 2021. And then it again got cancelled due to COVID. Only FINALLY getting to go last summer!

I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how disappointing those cancellations were. But the one thing that I can honestly say I am thankful for is that over the years, we have created a life that we don’t need a vacation from. Yes, we really wanted to go so we were super bummed not to be going on our trip to Italy, BUT it’s not like we needed so desperately to get away that our mental and physical wellbeing suffered from the cancellations. Let me explain a little more…

Creating a life you don’t need a vacation from doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take vacations. Vacations are awesome! And I totally encourage you to take vacations. BUT what I’m really talking about here is not needi...

“The secret of happiness is freedom... The secret of freedom is courage.” - Thucydides

Independence Day is one of the greatest American holidays, both for what we celebrate and how we celebrate it. I mean, who doesn't love a good barbecue, a festive parade and spectacular fireworks? But as our whole world knows, freedom is not something to be taken for granted. A few years ago COVID quickly taught us that lesson. And yet, I still encounter people who readily give their freedom away by being trapped within the walls of their own beliefs and fears.

What about you? Are you trapped by your own fears and limiting beliefs, or do you feel truly free to live your best life? I know one thing; our forefathers certainly didn't fight for our freedom so that we could be imprisoned by our own limitations. So do you have the courage to set yourself free?

Take some time this week and into the coming holiday weekend to reflect on why we celebrate. There are some in this world who only wish they ...

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” ~ Gloria Steinem

Have you ever lied? Come on now, be honest… maybe a little white lie, like the time you told your Great Aunt Gertrude that you loved her ham-loaf casserole, or the day you called in sick from work so you could go to the beach instead. Maybe you can recall times when you’ve simply ignored or omitted the truth by just keeping quiet. Some lies are bigger than other. And some truths hurt more. I’m not here to judge, but the fact of the matter is, we can probably all admit that we’ve lied about something.

Interestingly enough, I am willing to bet that most people lie to themselves as much as they lie to anyone else. And that just might be the biggest lie of all – when you realize you are living a lie! After all, lying is exhausting. And living a lie, well - that'll eventually kill you. Maybe not physically, although in some cases it might. But it can kill your hopes, your dreams and your passion for life....

 “The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” ~John Pierpont Morgan

How often do you find yourself dancing with indecisiveness about what your next steps or actions will be in your life? I will admit there have been times when I’ve felt stuck and hesitant to take a step forward into something new. The fear of uncertainty and failure can be paralyzing if you aren’t careful. But sometimes all it takes to move forward is the decision that you are ready to take that first step and the certainty of knowing that no matter where it takes you, you’re going to be alright.

I remember as a little girl growing up, my grandparents used to say, "Watch out for that first step. It's a doozy.", which I always thought was funny. But I was not lost on the fact that what they were actually saying, was to be careful because that first step could be tricky, difficult or even dangerous. And if you weren't careful, you could trip and fall. It was ...

"The will to persevere is often the difference between failure and success."  ~David Sarnoff 

When you hear the word persistence, what do you think of? For me, I like the way Josh Shipp describes it. He says, "Perseverance is stubbornness with a purpose." At first read, that is funny, right? But it also proves a valuable point. That sometimes what one person sees as a negative trait, another can see as a great quality.

I remember when I was a school counselor and I'd help students with their scholarship applications. Often they were asked to describe themselves. So I'd give them the directive to make a list of their qualities. Many struggled and they'd say things like, my parents think I'm stubborn, my friends think I'm bossy, my teachers think I'm…

As for myself personally, I've been called stubborn on more than one occasion too. So now I know, that just means I'm persistent. 😉 Which, in the right context, can be a great quality. Being stubborn from an egocentric place is not a...