Masterful Mindsets

"Expectation is the root of all heartache."   ~ William Shakespeare

When was the last time you stopped to think about what was most important to you during the holiday season? Often, we get so caught up in everything we think we must do that we forget what’s really important. And because of all that holiday stress and pressure to do more, the holidays end up being a holiday hassle rather than a joy.

So, if you’re finding that the holidays aren’t always so jolly and bright for you, don’t dismay. You are not alone! As a matter of fact, studies show that at least 88% of people experience high levels of what is becoming known as “Festive Stress”. Many of the common reasons are family turmoil, depression, overeating, financial strain and in a nutshell, unrealistic expectations about what the holidays should be. 

The good news is, I have one indispensable holiday survival tip that if you can implement, is going to help you eliminate tons of stress, overwhelm and guilt so you can truly...

"The best self-help must always begin with self-compassion." ~ Margie Warrell

Last month I confessed to you that I am a recovering perfectionist. And like so many of the people I work with who are high performers, we do tend to walk a fine line between having a desire to perform at a high level and trying to be perfect. But striving for progress rather than striving for perfection can actually free you to be your best self rather than getting paralyzed by the pressure of perfectionism.

It is my hope that after reading the article I wrote on this topic last month, you decided to make the shift with me. But, now what? Maybe you’ve tried and then found yourself back in old patterns if being hyper-critical of yourself, feeling like you must prove your worth, overachieving and striving to be perfect once again…  

If that’s true, then this article is for you because now it’s time to help yourself step into this new way of being, beginning with having self-compassion. Yes, as our quote...

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”  ~unknown

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the US, so of course I can’t miss an opportunity to talk about the power of gratitude...

Research has shown that practicing gratitude regularly has a positive impact on not only your happiness and sense of well-being, but it actually has a positive effect on your health too. That’s pretty amazing for something that doesn’t require anything more than some effort. No magic pill, no money needed, just a commitment to pause every day, be present and choose gratitude.

Which is why I started a gratitude practice for myself years ago where each day I journal about what I am grateful for. And I truly believe that as a result of keeping this simple practice going throughout the years, it’s transformed me into a more positive and hopeful person on the inside and it’s made me into ...

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls bloom.” ~ Marcel Proust

This week my daughters host their annual Friendsgiving celebration at our home!

I love listening to the hum of their voices talking and laughing. It’s been a little quiet around here this year as both girls and all their friends are away at college. So, I do love when they all come home. And although their friendships will change as they each start to go their own way; the ones who give consistent effort to stay connected will be able to pick up right where they left off every time they get together.

I think about the friends I have - acquaintances, colleagues, family, my spouse, my daughters’ friends’ parents, my workout friends, my long-distance friends, my closest friends, old friends, new friends, potential friends… and on and on. All different levels of friendship and yet all hold value and a place in my heart. Maybe you can relate, when you stop to think ...

“Flourishing goes beyond happiness, or satisfaction with life. True, people who flourish are happy. But that’s not the half of it. Beyond feeling good, they’re also doing good-adding value to the world.” ~ Barbara Fredrickson

As I shared with you last week, each year around my birthday I take time to reflect on my life. And again, this year was no different. I journaled and reflected on those three questions that one of my mentors, Brendon Burchard always asks, "Did I Live? Did I Love? Did I Matter?"

But then, I decided to move from reflection of the past year to asking a few questions of myself in a future focused manner. And this is where I embraced the ideas from another mentor of mine, Brian Johnson.

Brian is the founder and CEO of Heroic Public Benefit Company. And I had an opportunity this fall to spend several days with Brian, his wife Alexandra, his right-hand man Michael, and an amazing group of other Heroic people.

You see, Brian has a mission. His mission is to help ...

“At the end of our lives we all ask, Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter?”  ~ Brendon Burchard

Every year on my birthday, I like to take time to reflect on my life. Honestly, some years I spend the entire month in reflection. It’s a fun way to celebrate and be grateful while also seeking ways to make the next year even better. And this year is no different. However, some years, I have had the opportunity to spend it with one of my mentors, Brendon Burchard and a group of fellow Certified High-Performance Coaches™.

We get together every year for training and some years it happens to fall around my birthday. We are able to be in a room together sharing love, wisdom, energy and an intense passion for helping people live their best lives. (It’s a training but it also feels a bit like a celebration!)

Anyway, as I sat to journal on the questions that I might want to ponder for my birthday self-reflection, I found that something Brendon always talks about kept coming up for me…

If yo...

"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for - perfection is God's business."   ~ Michael J. Fox

I have a confession to make… (although if you've been in my community for any length of time, you probably already know this about me) I am a recovering perfectionist. Yep, I have been trapped in the claws of perfectionism a lot throughout my lifetime. I don’t really remember exactly when or how it started. But I certainly can remember many occasions when it held me back from peace, happiness, and even success in my life.

So, it’s not only easy for me to spot a fellow perfectionist, but when I do meet someone who is suffering with this debilitating issue, it breaks my heart. Because I know all too well the pain that perfectionism can cause.

What about you? Do you suffer from perfectionism? Is being a perfectionist keeping you from fulfilling your true potential and living your best life? If your answer is even a tiny bit of a yes, then I have g...

“The eyes are the windows to your soul.” - William Shakespeare

It has been said that the eyes are the window to your soul. Yet unfortunately, so many people wear masks to hide who they are that no one ever gets to see their true beautiful soul. And sadly, not only does no one else get to know the real them, but they often go through life wondering who they themselves are because they have lost touch with their own selves from spending so much of their lives wearing a mask and pretending to be someone they are not.

Has this ever been you? What mask are you wearing?

You may have begun wearing a mask for protection but who are you really protecting yourself from - the world around you or your own self? Are you trying to hide who you are or how you feel? Maybe you feel like you’re not enough as you are or won’t be accepted as you are. That can be tough, and I understand that sometimes it really does feel safer to put on a mask and pretend to be something you are not. But life was no...

“Always be yourself, unless you can be a ninja, then always be a ninja.” ~unknown

As I was preparing to write this week’s blog post, I was feeling a bit stuck for an idea. So, I did what I sometimes do when stuck, and that is read old articles I’ve written in order to find a subject for inspiration. (I could honestly fill a book with all I’ve written in the last 18+ years of delivering weekly articles/blog posts to you.) In addition to ideas for topics, sometimes it’s just fun to read through them again because many include stories of what was going on in my life at the time. Ummm… yes, I realize this is possibly border lining on procrastination because I’m stuck. But that’s not the point of today’s post. LOL - Instead, what I want to tell you about is a post I wrote clear back in 2009. (And yes, this one involved a personal example.)

See, since it’s October and Halloween is just around the corner, I was thinking about writing something on the topic of fear. But I couldn’t quite ...

“It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.” ~ Rumi

Have you ever found yourself enviously comparing yourself to others or wishing you had someone else’s life instead of focusing on your own life’s path? When you try to follow someone else’s path, it can be uncomfortable and frustrating. Why? Because you are your own person. Every experience you have is uniquely yours because you are unique. Sure, you can model after how others do things, you certainly don’t have to reinvent the wheel but trying to fit a square peg in a round hole will surely only end in disappointment for you. True happiness comes when you free yourself to be yourself. And you find your true power when you start taking actions to move yourself along your own path.

So, do what fits you… do things your way, with your own twist. March to the beat of your own drum, listen to the rhythm of your own heart and know what you desire most - then start walking your road to...