Masterful Mindsets

“The launching pad for emotional freedom is always yourself.” ~ Judith Orloff

Last week I told you a personal story about how I discovered I was feeling stuck emotionally because I hadn't given myself the time to acknowledge and honor my feelings. As a result, my stuck emotions were screaming for attention in the form of some interesting physical, mental and emotional energy “mishaps” if you will. So, if you think you’ve got some stuck emotions that might just be wreaking havoc on your life… then this is for you.

Odds are high that at some point in your life, you’ve buried some emotions inside of you that could be holding you back in your life. You may not be consciously aware of these stuck emotions on a daily basis… but they may very likely be keeping you stuck and robbing you of precious emotional bandwidth that could be used for more peace and happiness in your life.

Maybe your unprocessed emotions show up in the form of unexpected anger toward your loved ones… or as an unre...

“You can’t move on to your next destination if you don’t get unstuck from where you are.”

I was speaking with a fellow coach recently who’d asked me what I’d been up to. I told her we’d gotten our youngest daughter off to college and then filled her in on all the details of what’d been going on in business and how busy we’d been. Then I said, “But I’ve been super tired lately and feeling like I’m stuck on some projects that I just can’t get clarity or motivation on.” With which she proceeded to ask me, “Have you given yourself permission to grieve?”

My initial reaction was, to wonder what she was getting at and what that could possibly have to do with my stuckness. I thought, “I shouldn’t be grieving. I don’t have any reason to grieve.” After all, isn’t grief about death and loss? Sure, maybe not always a loss of life; if you’ve ever heard me speak on “The Death of a Dream” then you know that we can also grieve the loss or letting go of an unfulfilled dream for the future, a los...

"The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors." ~Michelle Weimer

Something I know I have learned in my lifetime is that life can be uncertain, unpredictable, and out of our complete control at times. So, although I certainly wouldn’t try to predict where the next step of life might take me, I do believe that regardless of any external circumstances, your quality of life can be different, if you commit to shifting what you can control, which are your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.

So with this weekend being the first day of autumn, a time when everything is changing – the weather, the leaves, our clothes, and our activities – let’s also use this time of year to change our thoughts, our beliefs, and our behaviors. After all, the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your thoughts, beliefs and behaviors so just as fall is a time when nature changes and lets go of the old in order to rest and prepare for ...

“Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo

I believe that in order to continue to grow and be our best selves, it’s important to be a lifelong learner. It’s also essential to our growth and our happiness that we strive to learn about things we are passionate about. I was recently talking to my youngest daughter about this because she is wanting to grow and improve on something she is very passionate about. Likewise, as our oldest daughter begins her senior year of college, she is loving her classes because they are topics she’s interested in learning.  

Problem is, some people stop being curious or interested. They stop being passionate and consequently, they stop learning, growing, and improving. Or sadly, some people never did enjoy learning (in the traditional sense) so they hesitate when it comes to lifelong learning. And I get it, learning something new is often low on the priority scale. After all, life gets busy. We have...

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” ~Maya Angelou

By now most schools are back in session and autumn is starting to whisper, “I’m on my way…” So as the smell of sunscreen is being overtaken by the scent of pumpkin spice, so too are our carefree feelings being overtaken by a sense of overwhelming tension.

This year being an election year there is a special weight coming with the changing of the seasons. I don’t think I need to tell you that the weight of all the “heaviness” our world and nation has faced over the last nearly 10 years, it can be a lot for many people to manage on their own.  

Combine all these emotions with the usual feelings that most people face as the last quarter of the year comes tumbling in and it’s no surprise that so many people are feeling a crushing sense of exhaustion, hopelessness, and negativity. I mean, aren’t we supposed to be starting new and fres...

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~Buddha

Relationships require effort. Anyone who tells you differently is misrepresenting the truth of relationships. Now I am not saying that they have to be difficult or hard. But they do require effort. Trust me, after 31 years of marriage (which we are celebrating today) we wouldn’t still be deeply in love with each other if we didn’t put effort into our relationship. Don't get me wrong, sometimes even we need a reminder. Life can get busy and overwhelming. And when that happens, it's easy to take your closest relationships for granted. But to keep any relationship alive and strong, it requires attention and effort. It requires kindness, love and affection.

Do a check right now before you read on… On a scale of 1-10, how much effort do you put into each of the relationships you value most? If the score you give yourself doesn’t match the value of the relationship, then I’d say it’s tim...

“Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.”  ~John C. Maxwell

Have you seen those quick quizzes on social media? (If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably seen them on my story periodically.) They list a bunch of things and then ask you if you’d choose this or that. It’s usually something fun and cute like “Coffee or Tea”, “Mountains or Beach” – but what if there was a this or that quiz that required you to dig a little deeper for the answers?

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been asking you to choose between Courage or Comfort, Hope or Fear, and Stuck or Striving. How’s that for a this or that quiz? When you really think about the choices you are making in your life, do you like what you are choosing? I get it, it’s not as fun as choosing “Cake or Pie” but its choices like these that can truly transform your life.

So, let me ask you, what choices have you been making lately that are dictating the outcomes of your life? And maybe more importantly, are ...

“Hope and fear cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Invite one to stay.” ~ Maya Angelou

In my last Masterful Mindset, I wrote about choosing courage over comfort. So now, I want to focus on another choice we have. This is the choice between hope and fear. So before you read on, ask yourself, if hope or fear is dictating the path you’re taking to your future? Which one do you want guiding you into the next chapter of your life?

With each passing year, both of my daughters consistently and joyfully embark on new chapters in their lives. (This year, my oldest will be graduating college and my youngest will be leaving for college) at I want for them but at the same time, letting them go… not so easy.

I have such great hope for their futures. And yet, if I’m not careful, I can easily find myself overcome with fear about their futures too. The uncertainty, the risks, the fact that I truly cannot be there to protect them every step of the way nor am I in control of everything...

“Comfort is the enemy of progress.” ~ PT Barnum

I was in a yoga class recently and the instructor asked us to ponder the question, “Will you choose courage or comfort today?” She left it open ended… and since it was the beginning of the class, it would be easy to assume she was just talking about our physical effort for the class. But of course, you know me… I took it much farther than that. Because the truth is, you could literally ask that question for every instance, decision or action in your life.

As class continued, my thoughts went inward, and I had an aha moment that led to a shift for me, which reignited my desire and passion for progress. So, I wanted to share it with you, just in case you need a little nudge to push you out of your comfort zone too.   

Now first, let me just say that being comfortable isn’t always a bad thing. We as humans are usually striving for comfort in some way. But it’s when being comfortable gets uncomfortable that we must recognize we are stu...

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you aren’t going to stay stuck where you are.” ~Unknown

I often work with people who come to me because they feel very stuck in their lives. They either feel they have no choice about changing their current circumstances or they feel that despite their actions, nothing is changing.

Can you relate to either of these scenarios?

My guess is, that you can! Why? Well because at some point or another, I think we can ALL relate to feeling stuck. But the good news is, there is a way you can move from feeling stuck to striving! 

So first, the simple truth of feeling you have no choice is this… you ALWAYS have a choice. Even if it doesn’t feel that way. Now I get it, sometimes you might feel stuck because the choice is hard. Or maybe you have made a choice to stay stuck because the benefit in some way, outweighed the consequences. Or staying stuck where you were felt “less hard” than striving to make a change.

No one can judge ...