Masterful Mindsets

“Flourishing goes beyond happiness, or satisfaction with life. True, people who flourish are happy. But that’s not the half of it. Beyond feeling good, they’re also doing good-adding value to the world.” ~ Barbara Fredrickson

As I shared with you last week, each year around my birthday I take time to reflect on my life. And again, this year was no different. I journaled and reflected on those three questions that one of my mentors, Brendon Burchard always asks, "Did I Live? Did I Love? Did I Matter?"

But then, I decided to move from reflection of the past year to asking a few questions of myself in a future focused manner. And this is where I embraced the ideas from another mentor of mine, Brian Johnson.

Brian is the founder and CEO of Heroic Public Benefit Company. And I had an opportunity this fall to spend several days with Brian, his wife Alexandra, his right-hand man Michael, and an amazing group of other Heroic people.

You see, Brian has a mission. His mission is to help ...

“At the end of our lives we all ask, Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter?”  ~ Brendon Burchard

Every year on my birthday, I like to take time to reflect on my life. Honestly, some years I spend the entire month in reflection. It’s a fun way to celebrate and be grateful while also seeking ways to make the next year even better. And this year is no different. However, some years, I have had the opportunity to spend it with one of my mentors, Brendon Burchard and a group of fellow Certified High-Performance Coaches™.

We get together every year for training and some years it happens to fall around my birthday. We are able to be in a room together sharing love, wisdom, energy and an intense passion for helping people live their best lives. (It’s a training but it also feels a bit like a celebration!)

Anyway, as I sat to journal on the questions that I might want to ponder for my birthday self-reflection, I found that something Brendon always talks about kept coming up for me…

If yo...

"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for - perfection is God's business."   ~ Michael J. Fox

I have a confession to make… (although if you've been in my community for any length of time, you probably already know this about me) I am a recovering perfectionist. Yep, I have been trapped in the claws of perfectionism a lot throughout my lifetime. I don’t really remember exactly when or how it started. But I certainly can remember many occasions when it held me back from peace, happiness, and even success in my life.

So, it’s not only easy for me to spot a fellow perfectionist, but when I do meet someone who is suffering with this debilitating issue, it breaks my heart. Because I know all too well the pain that perfectionism can cause.

What about you? Do you suffer from perfectionism? Is being a perfectionist keeping you from fulfilling your true potential and living your best life? If your answer is even a tiny bit of a yes, then I have g...

“The eyes are the windows to your soul.” - William Shakespeare

It has been said that the eyes are the window to your soul. Yet unfortunately, so many people wear masks to hide who they are that no one ever gets to see their true beautiful soul. And sadly, not only does no one else get to know the real them, but they often go through life wondering who they themselves are because they have lost touch with their own selves from spending so much of their lives wearing a mask and pretending to be someone they are not.

Has this ever been you? What mask are you wearing?

You may have begun wearing a mask for protection but who are you really protecting yourself from - the world around you or your own self? Are you trying to hide who you are or how you feel? Maybe you feel like you’re not enough as you are or won’t be accepted as you are. That can be tough, and I understand that sometimes it really does feel safer to put on a mask and pretend to be something you are not. But life was no...

“Always be yourself, unless you can be a ninja, then always be a ninja.” ~unknown

As I was preparing to write this week’s blog post, I was feeling a bit stuck for an idea. So, I did what I sometimes do when stuck, and that is read old articles I’ve written in order to find a subject for inspiration. (I could honestly fill a book with all I’ve written in the last 18+ years of delivering weekly articles/blog posts to you.) In addition to ideas for topics, sometimes it’s just fun to read through them again because many include stories of what was going on in my life at the time. Ummm… yes, I realize this is possibly border lining on procrastination because I’m stuck. But that’s not the point of today’s post. LOL - Instead, what I want to tell you about is a post I wrote clear back in 2009. (And yes, this one involved a personal example.)

See, since it’s October and Halloween is just around the corner, I was thinking about writing something on the topic of fear. But I couldn’t quite ...

“It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.” ~ Rumi

Have you ever found yourself enviously comparing yourself to others or wishing you had someone else’s life instead of focusing on your own life’s path? When you try to follow someone else’s path, it can be uncomfortable and frustrating. Why? Because you are your own person. Every experience you have is uniquely yours because you are unique. Sure, you can model after how others do things, you certainly don’t have to reinvent the wheel but trying to fit a square peg in a round hole will surely only end in disappointment for you. True happiness comes when you free yourself to be yourself. And you find your true power when you start taking actions to move yourself along your own path.

So, do what fits you… do things your way, with your own twist. March to the beat of your own drum, listen to the rhythm of your own heart and know what you desire most - then start walking your road to...

“The launching pad for emotional freedom is always yourself.” ~ Judith Orloff

Last week I told you a personal story about how I discovered I was feeling stuck emotionally because I hadn't given myself the time to acknowledge and honor my feelings. As a result, my stuck emotions were screaming for attention in the form of some interesting physical, mental and emotional energy “mishaps” if you will. So, if you think you’ve got some stuck emotions that might just be wreaking havoc on your life… then this is for you.

Odds are high that at some point in your life, you’ve buried some emotions inside of you that could be holding you back in your life. You may not be consciously aware of these stuck emotions on a daily basis… but they may very likely be keeping you stuck and robbing you of precious emotional bandwidth that could be used for more peace and happiness in your life.

Maybe your unprocessed emotions show up in the form of unexpected anger toward your loved ones… or as an unre...

“You can’t move on to your next destination if you don’t get unstuck from where you are.”

I was speaking with a fellow coach recently who’d asked me what I’d been up to. I told her we’d gotten our youngest daughter off to college and then filled her in on all the details of what’d been going on in business and how busy we’d been. Then I said, “But I’ve been super tired lately and feeling like I’m stuck on some projects that I just can’t get clarity or motivation on.” With which she proceeded to ask me, “Have you given yourself permission to grieve?”

My initial reaction was, to wonder what she was getting at and what that could possibly have to do with my stuckness. I thought, “I shouldn’t be grieving. I don’t have any reason to grieve.” After all, isn’t grief about death and loss? Sure, maybe not always a loss of life; if you’ve ever heard me speak on “The Death of a Dream” then you know that we can also grieve the loss or letting go of an unfulfilled dream for the future, a los...

"The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors." ~Michelle Weimer

Something I know I have learned in my lifetime is that life can be uncertain, unpredictable, and out of our complete control at times. So, although I certainly wouldn’t try to predict where the next step of life might take me, I do believe that regardless of any external circumstances, your quality of life can be different, if you commit to shifting what you can control, which are your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.

So with this weekend being the first day of autumn, a time when everything is changing – the weather, the leaves, our clothes, and our activities – let’s also use this time of year to change our thoughts, our beliefs, and our behaviors. After all, the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your thoughts, beliefs and behaviors so just as fall is a time when nature changes and lets go of the old in order to rest and prepare for ...

“Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo

I believe that in order to continue to grow and be our best selves, it’s important to be a lifelong learner. It’s also essential to our growth and our happiness that we strive to learn about things we are passionate about. I was recently talking to my youngest daughter about this because she is wanting to grow and improve on something she is very passionate about. Likewise, as our oldest daughter begins her senior year of college, she is loving her classes because they are topics she’s interested in learning.  

Problem is, some people stop being curious or interested. They stop being passionate and consequently, they stop learning, growing, and improving. Or sadly, some people never did enjoy learning (in the traditional sense) so they hesitate when it comes to lifelong learning. And I get it, learning something new is often low on the priority scale. After all, life gets busy. We have...