Masterful Mindsets

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” ~ Gloria Steinem

Have you ever lied? Come on now, be honest… maybe a little white lie, like the time you told your Great Aunt Gertrude that you loved her ham-loaf casserole, or the day you called in sick from work so you could go to the beach instead. Maybe you can recall times when you’ve simply ignored or omitted the truth by just keeping quiet. Some lies are bigger than other. And some truths hurt more. I’m not here to judge, but the fact of the matter is, we can probably all admit that we’ve lied about something.

Interestingly enough, I am willing to bet that most people lie to themselves as much as they lie to anyone else. And that just might be the biggest lie of all – when you realize you are living a lie! After all, lying is exhausting. And living a lie, well - that'll eventually kill you. Maybe not physically, although in some cases it might. But it can kill your hopes, your dreams and your passion for life....

 “The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” ~John Pierpont Morgan

How often do you find yourself dancing with indecisiveness about what your next steps or actions will be in your life? I will admit there have been times when I’ve felt stuck and hesitant to take a step forward into something new. The fear of uncertainty and failure can be paralyzing if you aren’t careful. But sometimes all it takes to move forward is the decision that you are ready to take that first step and the certainty of knowing that no matter where it takes you, you’re going to be alright.

I remember as a little girl growing up, my grandparents used to say, "Watch out for that first step. It's a doozy.", which I always thought was funny. But I was not lost on the fact that what they were actually saying, was to be careful because that first step could be tricky, difficult or even dangerous. And if you weren't careful, you could trip and fall. It was ...

"The will to persevere is often the difference between failure and success."  ~David Sarnoff 

When you hear the word persistence, what do you think of? For me, I like the way Josh Shipp describes it. He says, "Perseverance is stubbornness with a purpose." At first read, that is funny, right? But it also proves a valuable point. That sometimes what one person sees as a negative trait, another can see as a great quality.

I remember when I was a school counselor and I'd help students with their scholarship applications. Often they were asked to describe themselves. So I'd give them the directive to make a list of their qualities. Many struggled and they'd say things like, my parents think I'm stubborn, my friends think I'm bossy, my teachers think I'm…

As for myself personally, I've been called stubborn on more than one occasion too. So now I know, that just means I'm persistent. 😉 Which, in the right context, can be a great quality. Being stubborn from an egocentric place is not a...

"When life seems hard, the courageous do not lie down and accept defeat; instead, they are all the more determined to struggle for a better future."   ~Queen Elizabeth II 

A lot can be learned about a person's character if you observe them during difficult times. They will show you their victim side or their victor side. They will show you their pessimism or their optimism. Their kindness or their bitterness... And as the quote says, those who are courageous will show that they are strong and courageous, in their actions and determination. While all too often, those who are afraid of difficulty or failure will never take the risk to move forward. 

Now that doesn't mean that those who are strong and courageous never fail. Quite the contrary - what it means is that they aren't afraid of failure because they don't see it as defeat. They see it as an opportunity to learn and try again. And most importantly, they know that their failures do not define them but rather, it's how they sh...

"I’m proud of the scars in my soul. They remind me that I have an intense life." – Paulo Coelho

Have you allowed the scars of your past to haunt you and hold you back from living full out in your life? Or do you see the beauty and strength that can be found in those scars as reminders of an intense life?

Last Monday was Memorial Day here in the US. It is traditionally a time to honor those who’ve lost their lives while serving our country in the military. But it’s also become a time when we honor all who have passed on before us. For me that brings to mind one of the biggest scars in my soul.

I’ve been through some things in life that most would see as difficult and heartbreaking experiences. Of course, nothing as tragic or horrific as what those who serve in the military might experience or that someone who has grown up in an abusive home might know. But none the less, losing my mother at age seven and then later in life, spending eight years struggling with infertility are amo...

“Be your best true you.” ~Michelle Weimer

My youngest daughter will be graduating from high school this weekend so I thought it would be nice to write a special note to her and all those graduating this year. Or for that matter, anyone who might be coming to the end of a chapter in their life and preparing to embark on a new one.

Then as I started to write, my eyes filled with tears… and my mind went blank. I honestly didn’t know where to start. There was so much I wanted to say. And yet, I couldn’t seem to find the words.

Deep feelings of happiness, joy and pride are mixed with sadness, worry and an odd emptiness. I was quickly reminded of the old saying, “I love you so much it hurts.” As my heart aches every time I think about her leaving for college. And yet, it is exactly what we’ve raised her to do… to go off and be a strong, independent young woman.

So I hope you find value in my thoughts this week as I write this post to her. I think you will definitely see that it can ...

" - it's possible." ~ Les Brown

Next week my youngest daughter will graduate from high school, and as I'm sure many of you know embarking on a new journey can be a fearful experience. I decided that this week, I wanted to set the stage for the words of Les Brown to speak to anyone experiencing the closing of one chapter and beginning of another. So I’m giving up my writing space and time with you this week to Les Brown, because what he says, I could not say any better myself.

Although you may have heard or read this before, I can promise you, it's worth the read again. Therefore, as a little something different, below is the rest of the speech that inspired me to use today's quote. It’s simple really… “ - it’s possible” speaks volumes to me. Often shouting out, above the noise and chatter of fear, especially when I’m embarking on a journey to make a dream a reality. Loud and clear. It's possible! And guess what, your dreams are possible too. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

"We need to accept that we won't always make the right decisions, that we'll screw up royally sometimes - understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success."  ~Arianna Huffington 

I absolutely love this week's quote because it stands as a reminder to me that failure is not a bad thing. And instead, a necessary part of growth and success. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. You see, I grew up with a well-meaning father what told me all my life, "You can't afford to make mistakes." Needless to say, it entrenched a huge fear of failure in me that at times would literally paralyze me from taking action - questioning my every move and staying in limbo for fear that the decisions or actions I might take, just might be a mistake!

Maybe you can relate in some way…

What are your deep-seated beliefs about failure? Perhaps you were programmed with a similar message when you were growing up that has kept you from taking huge leaps in your life. Do you ...

“Balance doesn’t exist but proportion and harmony do.” ~ Danielle LaPorte

Your work. Your relationships. Your inner life.  – David Whyte calls these “the three marriages”. Each of these three marriages are nonnegotiable. They cannot be balanced equally against each other. A little taken from this and a little given to that – to balance work with relationship and with the self means we only work harder in each marriage, while actually weakening each of them by separating them from one another. These fundamental components of our existence must work to support one another, not to vie for constant attention.

We frequently and unconsciously structure our lives so that our work, our spirit and our significant relationships are set against one another in a competition of importance. Someone or something is bound to lose in this equation. When you deny one of the fundamental values of your life the attention it’s asking you for, your whole life is affected. I see it all the time, someo...

"Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action."  ~ Walter Anderson

I’m sure you can recall times in your own life when you many have been anxious or worried about something. And that anxiety might have caused some stress, irritability or general restlessness. Perhaps even a physical response like sleeplessness, a headache or an upset stomach. It happened to me just recently...

I was working on a big project that was taking me longer than I’d have liked because I was catching myself agonizing over small parts and not moving the project forward. I finally had to have a serious talk with myself and take some direct actions to get it finished. Of course, then, the anxiety was gone. Just that quick and truly, just that easy. But what about when anxiety persists? Increased or continual anxiety can be a serious issue. What starts out as misdirected energy can turn into insomnia, acid reflux, headaches, depression or even full out panic attacks. Anxiety and worry can weaken your immune...